Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
I'm recently separated from my wife. We were married for 10 years. Divorce is imminent.
I was/am more of a sexual person than my estranged wife. I had to initiate sex 85% of the time and if I could get it, I'd go for at least twice a day. I didn't receive oral sex until 9 years of marriage, and it was never to orgasm. I gave her oral long before we were married. It was always a ding to my self-worth that she would ~say~ that I was sexy, attractive, and whatever, but when it came down to it, I would be the one pulling the strings in the bedroom. And, I am attractive and handsome so it wasn't just talk.
Now that I live on my own, there's of course no sex with but myself. Looking back to how my separation has occurred, a major factor in our relationship problems was based on sex. I feel shallow for coming to the realization, but I think there's truth in that.
I suppose I don't have a real point to this post except that I feel strange looking for someone just to relieve some steam with; kind of creepy, really. She was the only person I've been sexually intimate with. But, I don't want a long-term relationship. Kind of new territory for me. Maybe I just want a long-term relationship with someone who likes sex more than the previous relationship.
I was/am more of a sexual person than my estranged wife. I had to initiate sex 85% of the time and if I could get it, I'd go for at least twice a day. I didn't receive oral sex until 9 years of marriage, and it was never to orgasm. I gave her oral long before we were married. It was always a ding to my self-worth that she would ~say~ that I was sexy, attractive, and whatever, but when it came down to it, I would be the one pulling the strings in the bedroom. And, I am attractive and handsome so it wasn't just talk.
Now that I live on my own, there's of course no sex with but myself. Looking back to how my separation has occurred, a major factor in our relationship problems was based on sex. I feel shallow for coming to the realization, but I think there's truth in that.
I suppose I don't have a real point to this post except that I feel strange looking for someone just to relieve some steam with; kind of creepy, really. She was the only person I've been sexually intimate with. But, I don't want a long-term relationship. Kind of new territory for me. Maybe I just want a long-term relationship with someone who likes sex more than the previous relationship.
dont feel shallow. just make sure that the truth is communicated before you start sleeping with someone. no need to hurt anyone.
amazingly enough, there are a ton of women out there with a high sex drive!!
While I commend you for being faithful during the 9-year marriage, I personally don't feel there is anything wrong with you playing the field right now. After all, you are single right?
If/when I take the leap I plan on exploring my sexuality with as many willing and able and safe partners as I can. Until I feel ready to make a commitment until just one.
Now, that may or may not happen, which is why I also intend to explore polyamory. That may involve swinging or open relationships.
I have done some research into this. If you want some non-judgmental information on what it means to practice Consentual Nonmonogamy, here's one book that I recommend: "The Ethical Slut."
Or you can Google it and see what else you find. Good luck... IMO there is nothing wrong with placing an emphasis on sexual compatibility within a partnership. Otherwise, you're just really good roommates.
When there's real intimacy within the marriage, you both manage to work out a sexual relationship that is satisfying to both.