Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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pixelfairy 03/31/2015

I have been faking orgasms with my partner. I have some issues that made intimacy very difficult for me at first, but now I am very comfortable around him.
However, I have always found I can only orgasm in one position - on my front, using my fingers on my clitoris and inside my vagina.
Sex with him feels wonderful, and the feelings I get with my partner are more intense than I feel by myself, and I can very often feel myself on the very edge of - something amazing. But I never reach orgasm unless I'm masturbating myself.
One day I just started faking orgasms during sex and it has just continued from there. I still really enjoy sex with him and he was very determined to make it happen. I just don't know why I can only orgasm during masturbation, whether it's a problem, is it likely to be a psychological thing? I don't know. If anyone could shed any light I would be very grateful.

lostsoul72 03/31/2015

Well from what I have read about your story I would say a lot of the issue may come from your past. It may be Psychological and hopefully that can be overcome with time.

Do you relax with him or are you constantly in fear?
Does your past creep back into the moment during?

pixelfairy 03/31/2015

It used to happen, and now it does only when I do particular things, which he would be happy for me not to do, however I want to be able to because I know he enjoys it so I try sometimes. Most of the time, when I'm not doing that particular thing, I am relaxed.

lostsoul72 04/01/2015

I am so sorry you have to go throught this. I understand compleatly. I feel there might be a underlying fear and you cant open up to him compleatly. Have you tried couciling? It could help you to expose this fear and take the power back from your past.

I was molested as a child and have finally dealt with that demon and put it in its place. It dosent effect my life anymore.

pixelfairy 04/01/2015

Thank you lostsoul72. I have had counselling before but I have never actually managed to talk about... 'it'. In fact, before I met my partner (and for some time while we were friends) I thought I was asexual and would never want any kind of romantic relationship.

MsFrustrated 04/17/2015

OMG I have the same freaking issue. I literally be on the edge, but can't get there. I have sex on a regular basis. I am a very sexual female. I may cum once a month if I'm lucky. I have to masterbate to achieve an orgasm. Goodness I wish I could fix it, because I have a great sex life other than that. So I completely understand you. As a matter of fact I have always had this issue. DAMN.

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