Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
I've always sort of fancied myself a switch, but certain things have started me thinking about HOW extreme my masochism is. Like I said, I'm more of a switch, but when I "present myself" to a dom, I'm in it to win it. So to speak.
The last time I had sex as a bottom I asked if she could choke me, she did, and I fainted, which freaked my poor girl out but when I woke up I was hornier than ever and wanted to keep going. Another time we used a strap on and I never asked her to stop, so I basically bled all over the place, but again I enjoyed it. I never gave this a second thought until last weekend when I was the top and I realized I can handle more pain than most; one slap and my girl was using the safe word.
Maybe it has something to do with my past, which includes rape, but I never feel "bad" during sex, I can separate the past from the present and love having sex just because...well, sex is fun. But the girl I have been playing around with is telling me to do some research and see what I can find.
Does anyone else have this problem? Or is this just me being a weirdo?
The last time I had sex as a bottom I asked if she could choke me, she did, and I fainted, which freaked my poor girl out but when I woke up I was hornier than ever and wanted to keep going. Another time we used a strap on and I never asked her to stop, so I basically bled all over the place, but again I enjoyed it. I never gave this a second thought until last weekend when I was the top and I realized I can handle more pain than most; one slap and my girl was using the safe word.
Maybe it has something to do with my past, which includes rape, but I never feel "bad" during sex, I can separate the past from the present and love having sex just because...well, sex is fun. But the girl I have been playing around with is telling me to do some research and see what I can find.
Does anyone else have this problem? Or is this just me being a weirdo?
I'm sure there is someone else here who can give you some good input. It's great that you are able to articulate the experience and communicate with your partner about it. I would be worried about the choking and passing out, though, that seems dangerous.
With erotic asphyxiation you're running a very high risk of brain damage, a heart attack and even death. When deprived of oxygen, it changes your blood chemistry which can throw your heart into deadly rhythm abnormalties or cause cardiac arrest. No matter how aware or careful the other partner is, there is no way anyone can tell at what point it is causing serious permanent damage. Severe damage or death can happen in just a few seconds.
As for your like of this having anything to do with your rape, it might, it might not.
For me I know my enjoyment of bdsm practices has nothing to do with me being raped. I was into it long before my rape occured.
Have fun and enjoy but stay safe! No amount of sexual pleasure is worth losing your life and your partner ending up in prison because of it.