Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Please look at the facts of my story and if you can help me would be great:
We are not sexually fulfilling each others desires. We are attracted to each other.
We both suffer from depression and anxiety.
We have been together for 9 years and sex has been the only issue.
We have reached a comfort zone in our relationship
We are 28 and 30 and have never dated others.
We have a great marriage. No Kids. Own our place together.
When we are out alone or together we do look but don't touch
We do talk about what it would be like with others in hopes that it would boost our sex life.
He brought up the fact that he wants to know if I ever think about being single
I think he thinks he is looking for a way out. He says he isn't
We have excellent communication skills. We are loving, very compassionate and affectionate.
We are each others best friends.
I do not know what else to do. Should we open the doors to allow other couples in as "swingers", as he has brought the idea up to me.
I felt a bit pressured but at the same time I have considered the idea.
Not too sure what to do here. I am not depressed at all, we always talk, but it just is this one thing that is in the way.
Any help would be much appreciated!
Thanks!
We are not sexually fulfilling each others desires. We are attracted to each other.
We both suffer from depression and anxiety.
We have been together for 9 years and sex has been the only issue.
We have reached a comfort zone in our relationship
We are 28 and 30 and have never dated others.
We have a great marriage. No Kids. Own our place together.
When we are out alone or together we do look but don't touch
We do talk about what it would be like with others in hopes that it would boost our sex life.
He brought up the fact that he wants to know if I ever think about being single
I think he thinks he is looking for a way out. He says he isn't
We have excellent communication skills. We are loving, very compassionate and affectionate.
We are each others best friends.
I do not know what else to do. Should we open the doors to allow other couples in as "swingers", as he has brought the idea up to me.
I felt a bit pressured but at the same time I have considered the idea.
Not too sure what to do here. I am not depressed at all, we always talk, but it just is this one thing that is in the way.
Any help would be much appreciated!
Thanks!
I am just wondering why you are not fulfilling each other's desires....when all else seems to be going well....
I shouldn't have put everything is perfect because no relationship is.
I think we may need to see a concellor or something -
He tends to go on porn sites a lot - and I have expressed that although I do not mind, it does make me feel less sometimes.
My b/f does look at porn from time to time, but we look together also....I just don't have much interest in it by myself, but if he does, that's ok with me. I can feel that way because I know he finds me attractive because he tells me all the time, complimenting various parts of my body while we are naked together.
Intimacy requires complete trust....I am able to tell my b/f every deviant thing that I ever think about...and he can tell me also, and we don't judge. (and believe me, we have some very deviant fantasies!)
....we are open minded and HAVE had another woman join us before on a few occasions. We both had to want it and agree. You have to be EXTREMELY open minded and NOT jealous to allow another person to touch YOUR lover.
we even get more deviant than that, but I can not pour it all out on the board here. Lots of judges out there.
But when it comes right down to it, we are the closest we can be, because aside from all experimenting and deviant sex, we have fantastic sex just between us.....he says the HOTTEST dirtiest things to me!! LOL.
Sorry, I went on a bit there. The best thing I ever did to have better sex is LOSE my inhibitions.
I've been married 21 years - getting divorced as of yesterday. We did the swing thing. He wasn't sure so I picked a girl for him and her H was ok too. We dated them for about 8 months. The sex was average - the experience erotic. THE BEST PART was the swing club...OMG erotic...you do NOT need to partner up either. You can just watch or be watched...dance and touch...etc. I would so go to the club, but hesitate on the other couple. There is a lot of drama....
ask anything else if ya wanna know..I'm totally honest - pull no punches
In fact, another couple friends of ours is inviting us to fetish party in a few weeks - it should be interested.
Daisylou - I have not really engaged with him in porn watching except on one occasion when I was depressed and not in the mood. I will consider this!
Waynesworld - I think it is because that we have found it to be too routine and we have just stopped - although I also have to admit a big part of it is the way we feel about ourselves.
The last 5 months I have been doing a lot of reading on spiritualioty and getting in touch with me - has worked wonders.
To share the love and the gift that you Two have for each other with some one elese is not a good thing!!
This is the way that I fell.
God dose not allow this and it is a road to noway!!
I was married 3 times. I wanted to be only once!!
When I was married I never got tired of my lady!! She was the only one and each time I made Love to her was like the first time!!
I guess I was the only one that was felling that way, however this is the way it should be!!
I would rather be alone then share the on I love in a sex way. I pray that your love for each other will grow and be renewed!!
wayne
Maybe buy yourself a toy & rediscover your sexuality. Feeling sexy is a good start. Good luck! :)
I need to feel sexy in order to make things work.
It still is hard, I get that doubt in my mind thinking my world will just come crashing down on me if it ends.
We will see. I would like to eventually do it everday if I could!
I had a discussion with my husband about this tonight. I told him about daily strength and what an amazing network of people we have.
A few factors we had discussed were:
A: We do not take good care of ourselves all of the time
B: When we feel good, we feel good towards each other.
I literally had an amazing shower tonight and took care of my skin very well, brushed my teeth, did some deep breathing, and I told him I literally feel sexy. Maybe this is a step in the right direction?
Do both of your moods coincide? Or is one anxious when the other is depressed? That might be the key right there. If you two guys could gel with each other's moods, I think you could be having phenomenal sex.