I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Have you and your wife pleasured each other without intercourse? Have you asked her if she feels like she is lacking something in her sex life? Depending on her sex drive, she may be ok with the affection and love you can give her.
Also are you prepared for how you’ll feel if she does take on a lover? You are thinking of her needs and that’s great but you also have to consider how this will affect you.
Some couples are able to make situations like this work, so if is the route you choose to take I hope it works out well for you.

That’s crazy. That’s not fidelity. I get you’re compassionate but hell, kiss her and adore her and use a toy or something.

It is very kind and considerate of you to think of your wife in such a way but what you propose looks very risky. He would not really be a lover, just an occasional pleaser. Love is about much more than sex. If he did become a real lover, that might make it even more awkward for all of you.

A penis becomes erect when the outflow of blood through the veins is less than the inflow through the arteries, so making it become engorged. I find that what I am thinking about usually has the desired effect, sometimes helped a little by gently touching the veins at the base to reduce outflow of blood.

Christian wife sexless marriage for 10 yrs I'm becoming more depressed feeling like a prisoner np passion, romance nothing. But he loves to ask for a blow job. I so much want to be loved and made love to I'm at my wits end.

Triedbythefire, omg! Same here!

Arran007, nice to think of her, but there are other ways other then another man. Be romantic, plan dates, make supper, give her a massage, run her a scented bath, buy her small thoughtful gifts, or make them, just be a caring, loving man. You can please her orally or by using adult toys, not 100% the same, but effective. Remind her it isn't her fault. Also, touch her often. Not sexually, but a hand on her shoulder, or around her waist, play with her hair, etc. Because if you don't touch her often and she forgets what it feels like and someone else comes along and does it, she will feel something new and that won't be good. If you suggest another man, he could essentially replace you in all aspects. You don't want that to happen.

I would she with your spouse what you are feeling, and check in with her about her feelings. Go from there. She may not need what you assume she needs. And if she does, she may be able to problem solve with you in a such a way that a win/win may be possible.

I honestly feel that has to be an agreement between you and your wife. Honestly as a woman I know how to please myself so even if my husband and I don't have sex I'm ok and it doesn't affect our relationship . If she loves you that won't matter . Plus there are toys and different ways you can have sexual relations that would not require an extra person. But if you want to add a third person you guys would need to trust each other s feel comfortable with that

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I have a simalar problem in away, born with a bit of a birth defect, my body produces very low testostron witch always made it very hard (no pun intended) to achive a healthy erection and/or maintain it durning woopy. Ever thought about doing a testostron injection, I have to! it helps in alot more way than one, moods, energy ect. just a thought, might be something worth looking into

Any consideration of surgery to get an erectile device implant? I had surgery as an infant that made erections as an adult impossible, but recently was able to get approval for this surgery. There are some options you might want to consider by getting a urology consult. What I found out was that there were at the least cost rods that can be implanted in the penis in a day-surgery that you simply bend upwards to give an erection and back down when you are done. It doesn't change the size of your stuff like a regular election, but does get the penis hard enough to let you penetrate a partner and pleasure them. There are also implantable erectile devices that have an internal pump that allows you to pump fluid from part of the device into silicon sleeves in your penis and get a harder erection than the first type of device I mentioned. With this device you squeeze a little pump device implanted in your ball sack and that inflates or deflates your penis. This is a bit more expensive than the first device, but does give you a little extra girth when erect, and over time some guys get a little increase in penis size even though your limp and hard penis size is about the same .

This might be something to consider with your wife. I feel tons better with mine even before benefits for sex with a partner. I have more tone in my dick with the pump style implant and can pump it slightly so it isn't always completely limp, but firm enough to feel good without having to be fully erect. When I am ready, I can pretty easily get myself erect and comfortably stay that way for as long as I want for sex or masturbation. The downside, maybe not for all guys, is that ifyou normally have some good spontaneous erections, this can take that away for some guys, and the only hardons are the ones you make by using the device.

If you can't have surgery check online for the Elator. It is a little external splint you attach to your dick that can possibly make you hard enough and supported enough to penetrate and please your wife, and you could make that harder with a condom or two or a silicone sleeve.


The Elator is a little pricey, but much less than any surgery. Check the internet under penile splints for other similar options.

Take care, dude. Women are smarter than us and know what is in your heart is more important for satisfying them than just what junk you are hauling in your pants. Have a talk with your wife about your treatment options or prosthetic aid options online or suggested by your doc, and ask your wife what she thinks about spicing things up with fingering and oral sex and toys that might excite you both but be workable around your limitations.

Hey, to add to the suggestion of an external penis splint, I had mentioned the Elator, which i think runs about 250 US dollars. A close match to that is Stay Hard, which I got at about $75 and was a close match. Either option is largely a custom order. They run you through a really critical length measurement, and make your order to match that size. They make that up assuming a standard girth, so if you normally have to wear extra large condoms because of large girth, let them know before you place an order. My Stay Hard splint might have worked all right, but was way too small for the girth I have after reconstruction surgery. Otherwise I think either splint covered with a condum could really help a guy have enough rigidity to get a good penetration into a partner's vagina or anus for pretty satisfying sex as long as the guy keeps partial penetration and not a lot of fully pulling out. The reason for that is that the penis itself is stretched and really rigid, but the support at the base where it meets the balls is minimal and while not exactly likely to be floppy just doesn't provide a hard even slightly upward erect angle to easily stay inside a partner if you are having really rapid thrusting with multiple penetrations and re-entries. I think either of these companies will resepecfully answer questions before a purchase and try to make a prosthetic that has a good chance of satifhying your needs. Good luck.