Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Trulyme 04/29/2018

Hello, I'm new here and need a little advice. I lost my husband 14 month ago he was unable to have sex or do anything eles because of chronic pain, I could not even touch him. So I have not had any kind of intimate contact for over 8 years. So, needless to say I am a little desperate, I'm a very physical person my husband and I had sex every day. I was very faithful to him till the end never even thought about cheating. I am now putting myself in dangerous situations, going to bars drinking to much. I tried online dating but, I guess I'm to intense and sexual for them nothings worked out. I don't just want a one night stand, that's easy I want a relationship I just don't know how to do that. I should tell you I have been married since I was 14, I was married 41 yrs...everyone keeps telling me to slow down, but they don't understand it's been 8 yrs. I feel like a slut some times because all I think about is sex, but I think it that intimate contact I miss most, I just don't know what to do or how to do it.

Aronia 04/29/2018

You are just finding yourself again.. sometimes we all do wreckless things.
It is a passing stage.

soulsearcher83 04/29/2018

I'm sorry for your loss. I can relate to how you're feeling physically. I had an injury to my back and broke up with my boyfriend shortly before it started to get bad. I've only had sex once in the last two to three years. And the longer I go without having it, it seems like I crave it more and more. I don't have any real answers except to keep yourself safe no matter what you do. Use protection.

guy_with_questions 06/07/2018

My wife has cancer and has lost any interest in sex. Not that we did it often before anyway. Maybe once a month. Over the last three years, we've made love six times. I worry that when she dies, I will do what you're doing. It's not who I am, and I'm sure it's not who you are either. I've only ever been with one woman. We were both virgins when we got married (she was 23; I was 27). There's so much I have wanted sexually, and I'm scared that if she dies and I marry someone else, it will be like before. Surely it's better to "sleep around" than cheat on someone? It's not what I would want, but I don't want to be in another sexless marriage, even if I love them as much as I love my wife.

I guess what you're feeling is normal. At least, I hope it is because I have the same urges.

It's been a couple of months since you posted this. How are you doing?

TXJ 08/09/2018

I hear you loud and clear. I've been divorced for 10 years, and I go through stages where all I can think about is sex. It's the human contact, the intimacy, the sense of physical and mental partnership that fills my mind.

Octopus8 08/16/2018

I miss daily intimate touch too. And I want a relationship and not one-night-stands.

A few ways I've worked with this need is to: 1) get massages through my health insurance. I know there are package deals that local massage places will sell through Groupon, etc.

2) go to improv contact dance and couples dancing lessons to share touch

...without the trauma and drama of sexual interactions that don't lead to relationships.

Lost77777 08/17/2018

Wishing I had some magic solution for you. You will find yourself again.

Meantime, just play safe.

soundwave 08/20/2018

I feel you. My ex wife never really enjoyed sex so we’d do it once a month if I’m lucky.

So, for a long time, I didn’t care for any intimacy. Just a quickie was good enough for me.

But then with my new wife, we have sex almost every night.

Now, I’m more into just holding her in bed but she’s not much into that. I have to force her sometimes. lol

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