Basing your question on nothing more than first glance of another person, than yes, looks do matter for most, IMO. But qualifying "looks" from one person to another may not be the same for the next person. I think this rides the coattails of the other thread about chemistry. What else do you base your interest on if you don't know the person at all?

But, a brief few moments chatting with another person or getting to know someone over longer periods of time will be the true test of compatability.

I don't think you hide under a rock. I think you get out there, be yourself, and know that you may have to flip many a shell before you find the marble (or whatever the hell it is those tricksters put under the shell).

wow, not sure I should comment,
this online dating world is tough at best
living in a have it now world, where there is no sparking, no romance, when a person merely enters statistics a few lines about their interests and then a paragraph or two about what makes them unique and suddenly out of the thin air comes a list of compatible members seeking the same things.

Like my matches, I am 5'10" and my #1 match is 5'6" yet it clearly states in her profile, WILL NOT DATE ANYONE UNDER 6FT TALL. LOL

IMO it should be about personality, confidance, but when the hammer comes down, looks will reign over the whole shootin match.

If I had the opportunity, I would look into meet up groups or the likes, at least then you might actually see a person and possibly have some common ground.

Sorry I'm not helping I'm sure, pretty sure I am becoming jaded of the whole thing

It can't hurt to sign up for an account on match.com. That's where I met my girlfriend of 5 years.

I have a dating profile up on a couple of sites and I promised myself if the people met a list of criteria I would keep their prifile on my "maybe" list regardless of whatthey look like

my list, in order of how it shows up on the profile

located in the US... living where I live half of the people live in Canada
age 30-40 (I'm 35)
if they want kids (since I have 2)
politics and religion (might not rule them out, but since I'm athiest and a pretty heavy duty liberal it speaks to compatability)
if they say specifically they want someone slim or athletic... because I'm not.
if they care if I'm divorced
then if all of that is fine I read their profile and if not totally turned off then I put them in my maybe pile... no matter what they look like.

I haven't actually started meeting these people yet though so maybe my system will change once I have, but just so you know that there are some people out there who are not basing their decision on looks.

in the "real world" I guess it would be a little harder, but if approached I think I'd try to go by similar methods because I want something waaaay more than a pretty face.

I think I'm a bit confused by your question, but if you want to date, then you have to put yourself out there... and by that I mean, be approachable, friendly, sincere...

There's a book that was written about 90 years ago, "How to win friends and influence people" and the lessons in the book still hold true today... Smile, call people by their name (it's the thing people lilke to hear more than any other word), listen with interest, show interest, compliment sincerely...

Whatever the "belle of the ball" means, but I'm a guy and that means that looks matter because I'm visually stimulated. But I'll never spend time getting to know someone that doesn't show any mutual interest, doesn't smile, complains freqently, and generally doesn't show any thirst for life.

Oh, one last thing.. it's good to have convictions, but unless you have total wisdom and insight about the world, the most rewarding experience is when you are with someone and your views about the world change because you grow through the shared experience... so don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone...

So what's this thing regarding belle of the ball? Does that mean to act differently than you really are?

I think that initially its looks.
But once you get to know somebody it's more about who that person is, and if they look good, then it's just a bonus.

My fianc is the hottest man in the world to me.
I'm sure most people would disagree, but I love his face and I love the person that he is and that's all that matters.

Just keep looking and keep your options open. You'll find somebody worthy of you. Just don't settle for less than you want.

Does any of this make sense? lol I haven't filled my coffe quota yet!

Thank you to all of the comments. @Engage I know the book, I am actually a graduate assistant for the DC course. I smile, love life and spend time with people that care about me and love me for who I am. I am acutely jaded at the moment, but I am inspired by the fact that looks aren't everything.... and its not like I am ugly. What I meant by "belle of the ball" is the loudest, most beautiful woman in the room is the only woman that guys want." I am fun, and confident, I just don't always like my body...

I get where your coming from, the new age, online dating is fast paced and in so many ways deals with volume, just like everything else. Got to put yourself out in the open, waiting on the back shelf just results in more passersby. Very easy to become jaded, as far as online dating, a person has almost got to be very callous, rejection needs to be seen as the rejecter's blown opportunity instead of our own shortcoming, not an easy objective.
Like HC, said, in the end, personality will
last, do not settle for less than you feel is adequate, lol plenty of fish in the sea.

I've found the best "dating" is simply getting involved in activities that you enjoy, and being warm and caring toward others who are enjoying the same activity.

In answer to your question, MIA, no, you don't have to be "the belle of the ball" to get a date, but you do have to make yourself "available", putting your heart and physical presence out there, and, if you're a full-figured gal, you can't expect to be with a six-pack-ab supermodel guy; might have to be with a guy who's got a bit more meat on his bones too. I don't know what your "standards" for what you find a physically attractive guy are...

Actually.. I had the "really hot guy" and he was abusive. I do want to be attracted to the person I am with, but I don't like skinny guys really.. just someone that can make me laugh, enjoy sports with me and get along with my family. :)

Yes yes yes and yes.Go get a good game. Go get some good clothes noce hair .. Smell good and bring some good conversation and you will be ok.
It works for me.