Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Ok, I have made hints to this in other posts, but I need some help here.
I have this fantasy I really want to play out in some form or fashion. I have this thing with wanting others to see my wife naked or to have MMF or FFM with her. These thoughts keep reoccurring in my head and I can't seem to shake them. I have told her about this and she is not really on board with it. I don't feel comfortable even trying to pressure her into something she does not want to do.
So with all that, I am stuck. Has anyone been in my situation with advice or does anyone have suggestions?
I have this fantasy I really want to play out in some form or fashion. I have this thing with wanting others to see my wife naked or to have MMF or FFM with her. These thoughts keep reoccurring in my head and I can't seem to shake them. I have told her about this and she is not really on board with it. I don't feel comfortable even trying to pressure her into something she does not want to do.
So with all that, I am stuck. Has anyone been in my situation with advice or does anyone have suggestions?
Now before someone says it, I do not view her as an object or a piece of meat. We have discussed this and it is about her pleasure and secondly me getting to be part of that.
Then sit down again and discuss what YOU are interested in doing. Make it clear that you are not forcing her but are curious if she has given it any thought.
In the mean time, YOU do some research and make sure it really is something you want to do.
A fantasy is wonderful but reality rarely measures up. It's no longer just thoughts, YOUR feelings and pictures in your head; it is flesh and blood people with their own thoughts, feelings and fantasies. As much that could go right and be wonderful, just as much could go wrong; including leading to the end of your marriage by living out this fantasy.
Even if she ever agrees, there is so much talking the 2 of you should do before you find the other person, then MORE talking with that person before you act out this fantasy.
Yes, I've acted out fantasies with success but there were just as many failures and one that ended a 10 year relationship and a 4 year friendship.
Find other ways to get your fix of seeing her get pleasured like making a movie of the two of you together so you can watch her get pleasured by you while not being involved at the time you are watching it. As SING suggested, you could always change your looks when you make the movie so you look like someone else and then ask her to role play like she is having sex with someone else.
If you can't let this go and she doesn't want to do it you may just have to end up doing it with someone else, but that could also spell the end of your marriage. So you really need to ask yourself which is more important . . . playing out your fantasy or remaining happily married?
Don't share - Be selfish