Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Since I have joined this site, on a regular basis, CONFIDENCE is regarded as an important part of a man or womans sexuality, or perhaps I should write, DESIRABILITY.
Question? How do you tell the difference and examples.
Lets say I stroll across the aisle in the grocery store and comment on the firmness of the honeydew melons, while an abundantly blessed lady is looking through the produce melon section.
This could easily be mistrued as an arrogant smart-a$$ remark, or a statement of the ripeness of the honeydews.
I know eye contact will come into play in deciding, confidence or arrogance. Sometimes it seems when confidence is high and a guy (ok me) is trying to entice some response it often times comes across as A--hole arrogance.
lame question I suppose, but I would appreciate any or all feedback
Question? How do you tell the difference and examples.
Lets say I stroll across the aisle in the grocery store and comment on the firmness of the honeydew melons, while an abundantly blessed lady is looking through the produce melon section.
This could easily be mistrued as an arrogant smart-a$$ remark, or a statement of the ripeness of the honeydews.
I know eye contact will come into play in deciding, confidence or arrogance. Sometimes it seems when confidence is high and a guy (ok me) is trying to entice some response it often times comes across as A--hole arrogance.
lame question I suppose, but I would appreciate any or all feedback
When you're arrogant enough to assume you've already won, or when you put yourself across in a way that lets women know YOU think you're irresistible.....then we think you're an arrogant dick.
Basically, when YOU think you're God's gift, women won't. If you obviously care about yourself and think you're good enough, but leave us to make our own decision about you- that's when you're most likely to score!
Firstly I wouldn't try the line about the melons.
Basically if you have the attitude that you have to have a woman in your life, you will come across as desperate and needy and whatever you say won't go down well.
If you have the attitude that you can take what you want, you will come across as arrogant which is worse.
So the most appropriate attitude is I am happy about who I am, I don't 'need' anybody in my life but that woman seems nice and I would like to get to know her.
Then look for an appropriate comment in the context you are in. Before you do, try to make accidental eye contact you can often get an idea right at that moment whether you are likely to be well recieved.
Even then you may get the rub off. This is where you have to fall back on the thought that you have no idea what is going through another person's mind and anything could be happening in her life. So don't let a rejection like this drag you down it is probably not saying anything about you.
Embrace the fear of the possibility of getting hurt, embrace the possibility of the pain of heartbreak. The ladies can probably agree that there's nothing more sexy than an emotionally available and emotionally brave man. If you can stare your own hurting heart in the face and continue to love, through the pain, I'm sure everyone can agree, that's attractive.
So many guys are sex machines, but they don't really like staring at their own hurt square in the face. Or they're bleeding hearts who haven't found their own sexual confidence. A happy medium is required.
This newfound philosophy (this past year or so) hasn't gotten me laid (yet), but it has gotten me hugs and such. When you're an open book, and have nothing to hide, emotionally available and accessible, it's very easy for others to get close to you. The task then becomes setting boundaries, so they don't walk all over you or try to manipulate you to their own selfish purposes. That's where confidence and a willingness to either dig deep or walk away comes in.
Treat her like an equal, a fellow human being, with respect, not some high-on-a-pedestal queen or some strippet floosy who's easy to control. At the same time, admire her, adore her, help her feel beautiful and sexy. This in turn will help you feel handsome and sexy. Like the Bible says, "do unto others as you would like them to do unto you".
In first contact, probably best to say something charming and funny, but something you feel is reasonably intelligent, that might spark an intelligent conversation. Talk about honeydoo melons won't get you anywhere.
Guess what Im trying to figure out is what is good an what is bad on a first coincidental meeting.
great answers so far, but my dilemna would be this. I happen to grow cantoloupes, and honey dew melons are a variety sold in many produce sections, so in actuality if this truly would have happened, my expertise would have been, or could have been misconstrued. The scenario was/is just a hypothetical example I conjered up.
Apparently timing is crucial no matter what is said. Im looking for some sort of guideline as to the difference between confidence and arrogance.
thanx for all the feedback