Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
This has been a major problem for me since I started being, um, active again not too long ago.
First of all I am large. You know what I mean. But I buy the Magnum XL condoms, the biggest I can get and they are still a tight fit. Thanks to age and health I don't have the strongest erections like I used to. When I try to get a condom on it's a struggle and my erection goes away. And I can't get it back then because there's performance anxiety and all kinds of anxiety. Now I don't even get out the foil pack till my partner has come one or more times. No matter what, the lady has had an experience she should remember for a long time. And if my memory is right, at this point my date has always been excited enought to be telling me to go without it. I'm not talking professional sex workers, but regular everyday people. And I'm not saying that professionals are not regular everyday people.
But here's what I've discovered after 3 or 5 experiences.....I can't get a second date if I don't finish the performance on the first date.
First of all I am large. You know what I mean. But I buy the Magnum XL condoms, the biggest I can get and they are still a tight fit. Thanks to age and health I don't have the strongest erections like I used to. When I try to get a condom on it's a struggle and my erection goes away. And I can't get it back then because there's performance anxiety and all kinds of anxiety. Now I don't even get out the foil pack till my partner has come one or more times. No matter what, the lady has had an experience she should remember for a long time. And if my memory is right, at this point my date has always been excited enought to be telling me to go without it. I'm not talking professional sex workers, but regular everyday people. And I'm not saying that professionals are not regular everyday people.
But here's what I've discovered after 3 or 5 experiences.....I can't get a second date if I don't finish the performance on the first date.
I know what you mean, though, about having to be completely erect to get the thing on. Once rock-hard, the sheath slides right down, no problem.
Perhaps have her perform some oral and stroking with her hand to relax you and get the blood flowing to that region, then have her slowly, sexily slide the sheath on so it becomes part of the whole erotic experience.
I too have performance anxiety with regards to first-time sex with a random partner, and this is why I'm looking for a comfortable friendship first. Maybe that's the problem with you too. It's about emotional comfort, which is very difficult to achieve with someone you've just met. Requires a few dates, a lot of talking and gradually getting close (for me anyway). Maybe try to build a comfortable friendship with a woman first, then ease into sex after a couple of dates-!