Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
My boyfriend is a trucker and he's been out of town for the past almost month, and he just got back home like 2 days ago. Normally when he's here if I am depressed I don't really feel anything let alone sexual desire, even though I am very attracted to him of course. But since he got back I've been bothering him so much. I just want him so much all of the time. Even if I just was intimate with him just then. And he tries to make me feel better and he does good and all, but I'm having trouble actually climaxing despite how close I get. Nothing really has changed as far as my diet or medication or lifestyle etc. So I really don't know what is the problem and I'm not pregnant and only 27. Should I be worried? Is there anything I can do? I know it's a vague question but I'm so embarrassed about it, I feel like a pervert or something.
First you are a beautiful gift from God, and need to love yourself as he loves you.
So stop thinking about it, and by that I mean when you think about it ask yourself what you are feeling and why. Are you scared, fearful, nervous, stressed, angry, resentful or sad even. What or who is causing you to feel that way.
Start focusing on yourself, your healthy, your well being. your love of your self.
Start a journal of your day, writing the things you did good, the success you are having at things.
Dig into your hobbies, your likes, your exercise, your diet.
Take a break from sex for a while, maybe 90 days, still allow yourself to be touched and caressed but not lead to sex. Tell him what parts of your body you like touched.
Allow yourself the grace and love to be patient in learning your body. Learn about your boundaries and your strength to say no and stand strong with your morals.
When you love yourself and care deeply enough then you can love others even more. The key to a successful joyous life is being loving and content with yourself. Once you love yourself unconditionally as God does, you will be able to be free of the bondage you put on yourself. Once you truly love yourself, you will not care, worry, or fear about not climaxing but will give yourself in a loving intimate way to your husband and be able to love the touch and emotion of being with him and will experience the gifts that God has given you.
I pray you are healthy and safe.
Alcohol, maybe a couple glasses of red wine, might help you relax. Exhaustion and warm, wonderful endorphins from intense physical exercise like cycling prior to sex helps too, I know.