I experience the same thing. However, I have learned that it only becomes a problem if you decide to make it one. Although it is easier said than done, your attitude about it plays a big role and your attitude about it will be picked up by the woman you are with and she will then also think of it as a problem.

I read and thought about different ways to fix this about myself on the internet. Like, the "Squeeze and Hold" method, desensitizing creams, anti-depressants, thinking about something else, masturbation therapies, seeing a urologist, etc But to be honest, I realize all of these methods have "cons". Like "Squeeze and Hold" is just a mood killer. Anti-Depressant will have side effects on your mood, desensitizing creams numbs you but it also will numbs her. Which is counter productive. Masturbation therapies takes a lot of time and effort if you have doing it to train yourself and not just doing it for pleasure.

So what I am now thinking is this. Foreplay with the woman, kissing, doing oral, changing positions. Doing it multiple times. Those types of things. Sex if supposed to be fun, not mechanical. Your attitude and the woman's attitude plays a big role and I think it is the best solution to the problem. If you want to think of it as a problem. Find a woman who loves you for you. Likes being with you and is a good communicator. A woman who enjoys finding solutions to a better sex life with you. Because anything is possible with the right attitude and a positive attitude.

I think women like men who are fun, have confidence and are affectionate. Woman's orgasms come from mostly their minds. If they love you and their is enough communication in the bedroom, she will orgasm.

You may be able to train your dick to last longer..

When you masturbate & you feel yourself starting to cum, stop for a min until the urge settles down then go back to whackin it, if you do that for awhile until you want to let it go.
You should be able to do that if you ever have sex with a woman,..
you can do the same thing of stop & or pulling out of her until urge stops then go back to it...
While you're pulled out of her, play with her until you're ready to go back in her..

The anxiety in itself is the problem. Train your mind to calm down (difficult when looking at a hot chick, I know). Look away from the hot chick and think "Gilligan's Island, Mr. Howell" (something non-sexual), like Michelle Flannery tells Jim in American Pie 2, when you feel you're on the brink of cumming.

Also, try to develop a relaxing FRIENDSHIP with a girl. When that's done, I think you'll realize that sex is probably only about 25 percent of the larger equation of the relationship.

i have said it before, elsewhere but i think one of the real problems with men worrying about orgasm is, just that.......them worrying or focusing on it.
easy for me to say since i am female.
i have had partners like you which did not bother me.
i was married for decades to someone who must have practiced those techniques to put it off.....
because it took him forever, and then eventually, like he could not cum at all....though he said it still felt good.

You may think how lucky for my husband , he could last for hours.....but it really was frustrating for him and horrible for me. I mean, pain.....body pain, fatigue, dehydration, it was just too long with no break, so i did not even want to have sex because i knew it would be this long, drawn out , painful exhausting thing where nobody came.

men worry about this way too much imho. this is why so many spammers and pharmaceuticals make money off of men's concerns they are not man enough.

another thing I wish men would realize, is they focus on orgasm too much and basically , you can't do it how you want if you are worried so it is a vicious cycle.....but the part of it, I hate the most is how they think I am focused only on that.
Sure it is great when it happens but , it is the journey I enjoy, not just the destination.
i am a very sensate person, so I am just as thrilled with any kind of touch, like massage for example. Being kissed on my forehead or temple, or back of my neck, real light.......is the best feeling.
The word I feel is the biggest mood killer is "performance"
as in performance enhancing drugs.

when did it become a performance ? it is supposed to be a mutually enjoyed experience of making each other feel good and yourself, at the same time.
if i wanted a performance i would watch porn.

(oh here is my last pet peeve)......nothing against porn for porn's sake but I suspect way too much of viewing it, going on, which makes many men and women feel that is how normal sex should be !

do not, ever compare yourself to any of that, please.

sounds like you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. You are calling it premature, but 4-5 minutes, while not record time, is not nearly premature. If it happens before you get your pants off, then... Meantime, try to relax. spend lots of time on her, then it won't matter how fast. Once you take the pressure off yourself, you may find it makes a big difference without much effort.

Can I add something,,, the key is giving her 1,2 or even 3 orgasms before yours because then there is no pressure at all to last long because she already had her orgasms.

As you age, you will miss this "problem" or at least that's what my husband says. When I'm on top, he doesn't feel as intensely stimulated and lets me have my turn, and when I'm finished, we change positions and it's his turn. I don't know if that would help.

All you have to do is "reload quickly", get horny again! Best of success. At least you HAVE a partner. I'm lookibg for one.

Dude look up the stats and stop watching porn! I have answered this question so many times in my life and I was once the one asking it .

Statistics show that men ON AVERAGE only last 2 to 4 minutes of consistant thrusting . I know the guys last in in porn a lot longer and I will tell you from experiance that the more times you do it the longer you will last. If you only make love once a week you will see this problem rear its ugly head a lot , but try doing it more then that or even more then once a night.

The men in porn are sexual studs , because they do things to their penises like jelking and honestly that causes real pain in that area instead of pleasure. They also film a lot of porn in one day so they have sex many times in a day and usually have fluffers to get them off before filming and not to mention they are all in great shape and that helps a lot too.



Good luck

Its not that big of a deal- Talk to your partner... Maybe she is ok with an encounter that is that length of time. I know I am. My man & I both cum pretty easy (as long as we are in the mood). I have been with both kinds of men- & honestly, if he can make me cum in a minute- to me that's awesome! Im just thankful he is making me cum & that he feels good enough to cum too. I actually get upset when he takes longer... it makes me worry that something is bothering him.

I'm good for 12 to 15 minutes if I try to hold out and guess what ..my girlfriend wants me to get there quicker because she gets sore if it goes on too long. I thought I was doing a good thing to allow her time for more orgasms.

Ive had to learn to speed up to accommodate her.
I'm not giving her your number 'cause she might think you're perfect.

Personally I would hate it if a man lasted much longer than what you are describing.
I don't orgasm with intercourse (most women don't) so that part doesn't need to go on forever and I also would get sore.
I want everything else to last longer, such as foreplay and oral.