Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
I am involved with a guy who seems to like to"force" himself on me. We have discussed this and have a safe word and he has never hurt me. I just wonder if it is"normal" or if I should be worried. I was very sheltered growing up and am wanting to try different things securely. Not sure how to talk to him about this. He is very experienced and I feel so naive. I am also a plus size woman and find it strange that I am beginning to receive attention from other men.
How you talk to him about it is simply by talking to him. Let him know where your boundaries are, what you would like to try, what's absolutely off limits to you, ask him what exactly he wants and keep communication open with each other.
I agree with Kiwi67, a safe word shouldn't have to be used every time you're having sex. It's there if it's needed, if things get out of hand or for whatever reason. If you find you're constantly using it then it's time the two of you talk about limits again.
maybe you're just now noticing it?
there are many men who see beauty in bigger women,
my husband was like that and at first , I went along but over time it became more and more miserable for me. Because I had let it happen and I enjoyed having sex with him because I am normal and he was my husband.
But then when it became too forceful, etc.......( don't want to explain ) he would not listen to me. Because he felt I went along in the beginning so i must like it.
I am so open minded and have experience but at the same time, my personality and how I was raised, always made me feel very uneasy to discuss these things with him.... ironically , I could talk to anyone I was not involved with, but not the one I was intimate with.
I realize that sounds strange, but it is what it is. The guy I am now with, since my husband died, is perfect for me sexually , he has a way of asking permission before anything he does but the way he asks it is so macho and sexy somehow .....;) Oh, and I am also plus size and when he first began to woo me, I could not undderstand why. I had been over eating junk food for decades because of my unhappiness with marriage. But he managed to convince me he is fine with my body , and in fact prefers it.
Now, of course, I never wanted to be overweight and once I began having a great sex life again, I spotaneously started losing weight....which makes me happy......and he is way too polite and considerate to ever be insulting, but from the questions he asks about my weight loss , I think he is somewhat dissappointed. Oh, well. And my husband absolutely could not stand women to be overweight --which made me feel bad and eat more. Life is ironic like that. If this guy is excited to force himself on you, and you feel naive, I kind of suspect , it may be part of what he likes about you.........the fact that you are submissive /naive, and he enjoys control, is all too familiar to me. Please, be careful and if it is making you question the relationship , and making you uncomfortable, and you cannot discuss it with him to fix it, it may be time to move on. How long have you been with him and how well do you know him ?
best wishes
Even though you started allowing forceful or liking some things
there's no reason you shouldn't be able to have your partner change ways b/c ppl change as time goes on..
An example..after 15 yrs of sex between just us my Xwife started wanting to experience 3 somes & lesbianism. Which was fine by me I'm open minded.
Also there are advantages to both size women petite & plus size..
There's positions a plus size person can't or have trouble doing b/c of body size.
Butt there's positions petite women can do easier than plus women.
I've experienced both petite & plus size..
although petite vaginas can be & stay tighter than plus, the banging of pubic bones can be a little painful, the plus pubic bones are padded for a softer touch.Also plus women usualy have padded hip bones which can be more comfortable than petite.