Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
my fiance and i started out as FWB's...and it was GOOD...and OFTEN...then after about a year we started having real feelings for each other...and the sex was still GOOD and OFTEN...then into our 3rd year...we started having problems and it was still GOOD but not so OFTEN...then we overcame the obstacles and started living together...and it's still GOOD...but a lot LESS OFTEN!!!
NOW this year, it's down to almost never...or only when he gets in the mood... basically i'm down to once a month with him...i have to relieve myself on my own on a daily basis... i enjoy that but not as much as i enjoy him...
anyway, we had a long talk last night, and he said a lot things and opened my eyes to what he's thinking and while it's all good, it still doesn't help me and my physical need for him...but anyway...
my problem is this...i have never been a girlie girl if you know what i mean...and in my first marriage i was close to being a prude...although i did and still do enjoy sex very much...i'm not good at the visual part of sex...since i had my son (15 years ago) i don't like my body...and although my fiance has never complained about it, i don't think he finds me attractive anymore...and to add to that, i've put on at least 20 lbs since when we started being FWB's...
so i've been reading alot of the posts here about what to do to spice things up and while i would love to go buy a sexy negligee and model it for him to turn him on, i can't bring myself to do it...cause i know i wouldn't like myself in it so why would he...
so, next to losing weight (which i am trying to work on) how can i get to the point where i can bring myself to wear sexy lingerie and feel good about it?
sorry about the long story...i tend to be a little long winded because i don't really have anyone to talk to...so again i apologize...
and thanks for y'all advice....
-DR-
NOW this year, it's down to almost never...or only when he gets in the mood... basically i'm down to once a month with him...i have to relieve myself on my own on a daily basis... i enjoy that but not as much as i enjoy him...
anyway, we had a long talk last night, and he said a lot things and opened my eyes to what he's thinking and while it's all good, it still doesn't help me and my physical need for him...but anyway...
my problem is this...i have never been a girlie girl if you know what i mean...and in my first marriage i was close to being a prude...although i did and still do enjoy sex very much...i'm not good at the visual part of sex...since i had my son (15 years ago) i don't like my body...and although my fiance has never complained about it, i don't think he finds me attractive anymore...and to add to that, i've put on at least 20 lbs since when we started being FWB's...
so i've been reading alot of the posts here about what to do to spice things up and while i would love to go buy a sexy negligee and model it for him to turn him on, i can't bring myself to do it...cause i know i wouldn't like myself in it so why would he...
so, next to losing weight (which i am trying to work on) how can i get to the point where i can bring myself to wear sexy lingerie and feel good about it?
sorry about the long story...i tend to be a little long winded because i don't really have anyone to talk to...so again i apologize...
and thanks for y'all advice....
-DR-
I know there have been men that I have been with where I was very self aware of my weight..but put on a nighty and BAM you are a sexy supahstah...
just a thought.......
But obviously what is going to work with him may depend on what he told you.
I prefer to just date. I don't think I'm live-in material at this point (at least more than 3 days a week).
As far as the weight thing, I'll let the ladies handle that one.
Another thing I do... I get my nails and a pedicure done regularly.
Try wearing pretty lingerie, make yourself as attractive as possible, be extremely hygiene conscious, perfume, keep your hair nice, a little make-up, jewelry, and lotion. If you start doing this regularly it will feel natural to you.
Hot bubble baths are great.
You have to start thinking sexy.
Candlelight helps me to feel more comfortable during intimacy.
FYI... most guys like a little lipstick on their dipstick. lol
Don't forget to relax and have fun.
I'm still a bit crap about buying lingerie myself, I never used to be that girlie either so it takes a lot of shopping around to find things I feel good in.
As for the weight thing, I think the important thing is to be fit and healthy rather than aiming for a supposed 'perfect' figure.