I would say the first thing to do is work on the issues you have with equating sex with men to pain and misery. Not all men are created equal, there are bad guys but there are a lot more good guys.

Ive seen/heard many lesbians or gay guys that get curious and decide to try it. Its ok, do it. Afterward youll know positively what you like...and so what if your bi? Nothing wrong with that is there? I think sex can be enjoyed with both sex's, and as long as its good and no one gets hurt , then have at.it!

was that a freudian slip freak ? :-) have at.it

like anything else is life, you never know until you try! there are tons of "straight" people who have experimented with gay or lesbian sex in some form, decided it wasnt for them, and lived on to have a totally normal and straight life.

there are also tons of people who are interested in a certain gender or seeing certain things visually, but have no interest in actually doing them.

sexuality is a very gray space. it is more like a giant band of gray with a line of white on one side and a line of black on the other!

ha ha brokeneye, I didnt even catch that

well if you DO equate men with misery and youre just afraid of them but you get turned on by them... well... its too obvious?

i tried going for girls too coz men are such assholes but in the end, ... a pussy just cant make me happy, i need a fuckin cock to bang me like crazy.

girls are good for satisfying my need to give warmth to someone. guys on the other hand seem to give it to me instead.

im just babbling... but most women are really bi but lean more on wanting men. they just go for the girl as last resort. thats why lesbians, some, actually hate bi... coz they seem to have smelled this way ahead already

Instead of categorizing "men" and "women", take EACH man, or woman, one at a time, as you meet them, on the individual merits. Some guys can be soft. Some women can be downright hard and nasty and do you with a strap-on, which, its coldness aside, is just like a man's cock.

Maybe you just haven't met the right partner, male or female, yet, to suit your particular emotional makeup.

Maybe, at 21, you're scared of YOURSELF, that you really don't know what your emotional makeup IS yet.

To which I say, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're never going to know who you are until you've tested your boundaries, taken some risks, and, yes, those risks including getting hurt.

The trick, like Lawrence of Arabia says, is not to avoid getting hurt, but not MINDING that it hurts. Pain is essential for developing character, a backbone.

For guy sex, just make sure a guy uses a condom For females, kiss, cuddle, and if you see warts down there, don't go down on her pussy. You'll be fine.

Go ahead and experiment. Find what, and who, turns you on. Be more interested in a person's character than their equipment. Look for a nice, soft, non-mean, non-judgemental, person, who won't chastise you for whatever you're feeling, but, rather, love and nurture you through it.

Love is so scarce in this world. When you find that kindness, that warmth, do your part to love it back.