I'm not a man but that seems to be a common response when you are leaving a relationship. This may not apply to all men, but it seems to be the easiest response to get the last word in(pointing and blaming the other person). I've seen men who get offensive and with completely deny everything and live the rest of their life with the ideas that you just left because another man came into the picture. Yet there are some who will do anything to save the relationship, just depends how much they truly love you and want the relationship to continue. I've divorced 10 years ago and to this day he hasn't change his mentality and continues to blame me to everything that went wrong with his life. He was always verbally and emotionally abusive and didn't appreciate me. Even though he got girlfriend now and I can still see the resentment towards me even thought I tried my best to save our marriage. Like I told family and friends, when we were in court for our divorce he could off fought for our marriage but never tried or said anything to the judge when he ask if there maybe anyway saving the marriage. I'm happily remarried now just feel sorry that he stuck in his ways, especially for his girlfriend who deserves better, I see myself in her unfortunately. Hope everything will work out for you, just be prepared for un

unexpected reactions from him. Things can be civil or turn for the worst be either way it will pass eventually and life will go on. Hugs and prayers for you Kim!

I would much much rather have my wife leave me to discover some freedom, acceptance, and happiness again. Some BAAAAAAAD stuff goes through a man's mind when his wife leaves him for another dude. For me, it would be impossibly difficult to maintain any type of civility with her if she left me for someone else. If she just left, there is still room to be friends/friendly.

My wife did leave me and it was to take back her own life and find happiness. I was totally fine with that. Had it been for another man, that would have been very hard for me.

@ Mrsvillicana... You are probably right. Anytime the subject came up before he said he knows I am leaving to find somebody better. (And regardless, he will probably believe this) he does so well playing the victim (well to his friends and family anyway)

@Mrcellophane and @ lb7268 .... I thought the same as you both said. It would be a bit easier to know it was simply because of the rift growing between us. and my wanting to find some freedom and happiness. The fact that he still does not see that as a reason tells me just how thick headed he is. I do not think he will ever be able to see past what he thinks or believes as a logical explanation for anything.

He’s only saying that to manipulate you. It’s just a contrary response to distract you. Honestly, if you you had told him you were leaving him to find another man, his response probably would have been that it would be better if you were leaving to be free. Try not to read to much into his statements. They’ll probably never make sense.

Hold up, Hoss. I just reread your question, and I'd like to modify my answer. If my wife left me for another man (again), then I would be upset. But it would be much better for me if my wife left me to take back her own life and find happiness - which would almost certainly involve finding another man in the future. (Neither is easy, you understand). In your case, you aren't leaving because you have FOUND another man (i.e., you are presently cheating), rather, you are leaving because your husband is a schmuck.

You could always tell him that you're looking for another man??

Maybe that will get through to him that it's over

Oh, don't say there's another man! Ugh. Like was said previously, you'll never really understand your H because he doesn't really understand himself. If you keep trying, you'll go insane. If crazy is not your native language, you just can't learn it.

marriage vows obligate;

> each partner to raise the alarm if the marriage is getting sideways for them

> each partner to contribute towards straightening it out

>if an unhappy partner just keeps quite about it and stews until they leave/divorce - that is dishonorable

>if the unhappy partner raises the alarm and the other partner does not respond lovingly - that is dishonorable, and if it is a pattern, then the unhappy partner has honored their vows and is justified to divorce

to me cheating is always shitty.
if one cheats, it exposes their vile character.

it is my understanding that your husband has been a jerk and hasn't honored his marriage vows to keep it going straight. he's had no interest when you've raised alarms.

if he'd rather you cheat in him while you were married to him, wow - he is not only a jerk but very strange