My best friend threw me a birthday party recently, and I was excited that my crush showed up. I've always said I don't REALLY want something to happen, it would make things weird at work, and the point of a crush is fantasy. But I realized that night how good we would be together. We have so much in common and share the same sense of humor. We spent the whole night talking, I drove him home, and he invited me up to listen to music. One thing led to another, and he kissed me.

It seemed like a pretty obvious signal of his interest, so I told him about my crush. I may have said other things...there was a little alcohol involved as well, and that part's a bit vague in my memory. What I remember is him doing that whole guy freak-out thing and saying he just wants to be friends, even though he thinks I'm very attractive, blahblah.

I mean, I suppose it's good that nothing really happened between us, but he did a total 180 in his response, acting like I was the one being aggressive and intense and he had no interest. I left pretty quickly after in that state of confusion (he did ask if I wanted to sleep there, but...no) and didn't talk to him for a few days. I eventually sent him a Facebook message telling him the last thing I wanted was for things to be weird between us and downplaying the whole crush thing as meaning I really like hanging out with him and think we have a lot in common. His response was super distant and dismissive, like he was pretending nothing had happened. I haven't even talked to him since.

So, collective wisdom, what's his deal? It seems really unfair and a shitty way to treat me, because he's the one who kissed me. Should I try to figure out what I said and did to freak him out so much? Also, we don't work together that closely, but I'd really like for things not to be weird when we do. I still think he's an amazing guy, and I think it's worth an effort at friendship. But I feel so dumb and embarrassed about the whole thing that I am terrified to talk to him again.