Have you talked to her about it, asked her why she's cold towards you and acts like nothing matters? One partner can't fix problems in the relationship alone, it takes both partners wanting and willing to fix whatever is going on.

first of all your pictures are gorgeous.

now for more of the tough stuff. It seems that you need to be willing to both talk to her and listen to her heart. From reading your profile, you feel that things went down hill after you stopped drinking. This probably isn't an accurate interpretation of your situation. When one person drinks alcohol or any alcoholic beverage, the drink dampens the perception of problems.

I believe your problems with your wife lie in the past and have not been resolved, hence your current problems.

I also believe this because, you pointed out that your grandson doesn't judge you "yet".

What has your family told you already? What have they been telling you about your ability to relate to them? What have they already tried to tell you over the years and are you ready to listen?

I recommend that you see a counselor. It isn't a matter of whether you are working or whether you have money, this is a matter of whether or not you are wiling to dig into the broken relationships that you have and make permanent efforts to make changes according to somone elses needs and desires versus what may or may not be easy or comfortable for you. Again, the drinking may very well have helped to create and contribute to the current problems that you have.

Wish I could offer something, except to say an occasional honey of mine is pushing 50 and is similarly cold and aloof. In my honey's case, she told me she's just tired, working too hard, sees herself heading toward death and can't do anything about it, so has resigned herself to a kind of blase acceptance.