Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
im sad.. everytime there's a long holiday. i always wish that my recovering addict ex gets back to me.. reach out to me... how did all of this happen? why did it turn upside down all of a sudden.. how long will this take? i just relapsed in terms of checking for pictures of him online.
i miss him a lot. but its been too long.. 9 months now.. i am afraid to forget and fully let go. why is God allowing this. why couldnt he just allow things to work out? i see a lot of my friends getting married.. happy.. being able to spend quality yime with their partners esp during holidays and vacations. why did i not get to reach that point.. ? makes me question that other people are better and deserving than me...
i saw his pictures and he still attends mtgs... thats good for him. i stopped my support mtgs.. i guess im scared and not comfortable and not ready to fully surrender.. and the people very much reminds me of him. i am not comfortable that they get to hear both our stories while i dont...
in the bigger scheme of things i sense God is allowing this pain to move us to change. but why is he changing me too this hard? why do i have to feel inadequate...
sometimes i feel like bcos i quit the mtgs God will not allow him back in my life..
does my ex even think of me? does he think im causing him to relapse? evenso.. even if iv got the worst attitude, which i think i dont, im imperfect yes
.. am i that unlovable and tolerable worth fighting for by a partner? i mean i always hear in 12 step readings that it is us most of all that must recognize our worth, fight for ourselves.. but would not it be very nice if someone cared enough to stay and swallow pride and ego?
how come others have that companionship loyalty from a partner.. but i dont...
i know God is always with me.. but i wish there was a warm loving body by my side.
i miss him a lot. but its been too long.. 9 months now.. i am afraid to forget and fully let go. why is God allowing this. why couldnt he just allow things to work out? i see a lot of my friends getting married.. happy.. being able to spend quality yime with their partners esp during holidays and vacations. why did i not get to reach that point.. ? makes me question that other people are better and deserving than me...
i saw his pictures and he still attends mtgs... thats good for him. i stopped my support mtgs.. i guess im scared and not comfortable and not ready to fully surrender.. and the people very much reminds me of him. i am not comfortable that they get to hear both our stories while i dont...
in the bigger scheme of things i sense God is allowing this pain to move us to change. but why is he changing me too this hard? why do i have to feel inadequate...
sometimes i feel like bcos i quit the mtgs God will not allow him back in my life..
does my ex even think of me? does he think im causing him to relapse? evenso.. even if iv got the worst attitude, which i think i dont, im imperfect yes
.. am i that unlovable and tolerable worth fighting for by a partner? i mean i always hear in 12 step readings that it is us most of all that must recognize our worth, fight for ourselves.. but would not it be very nice if someone cared enough to stay and swallow pride and ego?
how come others have that companionship loyalty from a partner.. but i dont...
i know God is always with me.. but i wish there was a warm loving body by my side.
Does this story sound similar to yours?
One thing to remember though - your reality of what happened in your relationship is completely different than yours because he was doped up through most of it. He does not remember and can not relate to all the blood , sweat and tears you ve put in to it and he will never understand it but he may try.
The old mate I speak of, he has been sober now for 26 years and is living happily ever after, I'm not so sure though about his ex wife.
i brought him to counseling and rehab.
The addictive personality is the obsessive personality, and I know a thing or two about this, because I can be pretty obsessive too. We need to find something new to obsess about. I like to give myself highly detail-oriented projects of some kind that require perfection.
Also, if you're at all able, please physically exercise. It helps, believe me, helps take the mind off that which you feel you lack, helps God help you get stronger, and pumps feel-good endorphins to the brain.
I'm throwing this point of view out there, I may be way of base, but I don't think so.
You have done him a favor, and for that at least I would be grateful.