Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
We've had a history of fighting, we'd fight about stupid crap, We'd fight because I'd be upset about something absolutely ridiculous and he wouldn't be able to believe that I was upset about something ridiculous for the seventh time that month.. So he'd pull away because he needed space and I'd push and push because I was selfish and because I was unsure and I needed to know at that very second that this wasn't the end of our friendship, But it would just backfire and push him away more and more, and I'd get more scared and less sure and more needing of reassurance that he was in no mood to give me, I guess with all of this happening over and over again on and off the past year it does get a little exhausting, I just have to wonder why he would come back again.. It doesn't make sense to me, He knows damn well where this leads, He knows that at some point I'm going to do something that is going to be off the wall and piss him off, Because I didn't show him respect or trust and I didn't exactly take his feelings into account, But maybe thats because I didn't -know- what his feelings were.. I'm not making excuses for how I've acted.. I'm just saying, All I saw were my own feelings because oftentimes he doesn't share anything with me at all, he doesn't know how to word things sometimes, I can't get mad at him for that.. I just wish I knew what he was thinking sometimes.
He's always busy, Busy with friends, busy with work, busy with living life and it makes me sad because he used to have time for me, he used to LOVE texting and now he barely ever does it, I send him so many text messages that I feel aren't even read by him and I just wait and wait and I know it's pathetic but I miss talking to him like we used to talk before... He used to be EXCITED to text me, excited to talk to me.. and now we don't ever have anything to talk about and we fight all the damn time.. so why are we friends?
Theres awkward silences on the phone, three hour or more pauses between answering text messages, he's seemingly uninterested in anything I have to say, I'm so excited to talk to him all the time but I don't feel like he's excited, not even a little bit, not even at all.. I feel like I bore him and he can't wait to get off the phone and half the time he forgets he's texting me at all because he's doing something better, funner, more interesting.. and I like that he can hang out with his friends but It makes me hurt because he has these friends and I don't have anyone near me at all and I'm constantly lonely and he's off hanging out with people better than me in every way and I'll never get to do that with him, because he doesn't want to.
Why are we even friends... It seems like he doesn't even want me around.. I'm not sure if this is all in my head but I can't ask him about it because somehow these conversations always lead to a huge fight and I know he's tired of that.. So why did he come back again?
He's always busy, Busy with friends, busy with work, busy with living life and it makes me sad because he used to have time for me, he used to LOVE texting and now he barely ever does it, I send him so many text messages that I feel aren't even read by him and I just wait and wait and I know it's pathetic but I miss talking to him like we used to talk before... He used to be EXCITED to text me, excited to talk to me.. and now we don't ever have anything to talk about and we fight all the damn time.. so why are we friends?
Theres awkward silences on the phone, three hour or more pauses between answering text messages, he's seemingly uninterested in anything I have to say, I'm so excited to talk to him all the time but I don't feel like he's excited, not even a little bit, not even at all.. I feel like I bore him and he can't wait to get off the phone and half the time he forgets he's texting me at all because he's doing something better, funner, more interesting.. and I like that he can hang out with his friends but It makes me hurt because he has these friends and I don't have anyone near me at all and I'm constantly lonely and he's off hanging out with people better than me in every way and I'll never get to do that with him, because he doesn't want to.
Why are we even friends... It seems like he doesn't even want me around.. I'm not sure if this is all in my head but I can't ask him about it because somehow these conversations always lead to a huge fight and I know he's tired of that.. So why did he come back again?
in my opinion, just from what you wrote...it sounds like you are sabotaging yourself. like you are convincing yourself that YOU are not worth his time...that he doesn't enjoy your company, that he rather be doing something more "fun"...but what if the reality is that he DOES enjoy your company? what if he would RATHER hang out with YOU than with his other friends? what if it takes a while for him to text you back because he's busy with work...or maybe he's having family issues?
you won't know until you ask the "source" himself. i can't read his mind...neither can you. close friends or even family can come very close to "reading" another person's mind...but no one really knows how the other person's mind works. ask. if he gets upset n flies off the panhandle. apologize for even bringing it up n just let him know that you were trying to find out where you two stood.