In some ways I think you answered a lot of your own questions kiddo. First off it is you who decides in the long run who is good for you and who might not be so good for you. People who care about you in the right ways will always try and cheer you up of course by saying you can do better or if they feel someone is bad for you they may express their concern by saying so. It is there way of saying I care what happens to you. But at the end of the day it is up to you to make the final decision. It is upto you to really make yourself feel better inside the people who make the comments to you simply care and want to support you because you are worth something to them. Don't disappoint yourself and them. Take some time to start to feel good about yourself and let the past stay in the past.

As for you issues of being a bad teen, drugs and drinking well you already made the observation that you did all those things and appears you did not like that type of lifestyle and probably do have a lot of regrets about your actions and behavior but you have the oppurtunity to change and make things better and it sounds like you have friends who believe in you. Now the next step is believe in yourself and know that everyone deserves to be happy in life including you:)

Your friends probably see you as a good person.
"good people" make made chices sometimes, especially when they are confused or hurt by someting and don't know how to deal with it.
If this is so, then why should you not have a good realtionship with someone when things are better? At some point, the cycle of dysfunctional relationship has to break. It's not like you are destined to have these problems all your life.
As a teen I did all kinds of things, I left my home when I was 15, I left my country alone at 18.
It took me years to figure out what was wrong with me, but I deseprately wanted to do so. I wanted to be "normal". Your teen problems do not have to carry with yu for the rest of your life.
Best wishes.

You can do better..Who decides? In choosing a partner, if we choose someone "better" than us, then we have to get "better" to keep them. We choose the best person we can, we choose the person that accepts us as we are. Remember though, that if we better ourselves, that is if we quit drinking, drugging, smoking then our partner may be "below" us. If you change and he doesnt, the relationship is probably a goner., We can always do better, but first we have to better ourselves..

well i came to relize im sick of hearing i can do better cuz i dont believe i can any more i actually gave up on relationships thanks to the last three relationships ...
but if my friends care about me the one im hearing it most from is the one whom uses me most ?

Are they using you? Or are you allowing yourself to be used? Think about that for a bit before you come up with your answer. If people are using you for the wrong reasons I think you sense it so it is up to you to change that. If you are allowing yourself to be used expect to keep going in circles and hearing the same old words and the same patterns keep repeating themselves. The only one who can break the circle is you and you have to care enough to do it. If you decide you are not worth the effort and do not think highly of yourself the circle continues. It is up to you to break the circle and explore other people and options, nobody can do that but you.

YOU decide "you deserve better"...with God's help.

Go to church and get involved with some prayer groups. God loves you, even when you don't love yourself, and you'll find some good, caring people there too.

Hello. Sometimes relationships JUST don't work because two people are NOT compatible. This has nothing to do with the facts about what YOU did or did not do as a young teen....You have moved on from that...and the facts are that you are a good person and regardless of the failed relationship, YOU still deserve to be loved!! So that is what makes us heal and move on to the next relationship. We give our hearts and souls to that new relationship, because the new person is deserving of 100 percent of everything we have!! My mom always says "The grass is never greener on the other side of the fence....the grass is always greener where you water it"......So this means that it takes alot of work to keep a relationship or marriage going so BOTH people are happy! Communication, love, understanding, trust, commitment. With all of this, it can work!! But patience with your partner while it is happening is also important. Good luck. Jennifer

Sometimes people offer such advice to help themselves feel better about an uncomfortable situation. They mean well but may not be able to offer any real assistance.

How you talked with any professionals (counselors or ministers for example) about the various issues you are wrestling with? This might give you insights into why you act this way and how you can modify the behavior.

Sincerely,

OldChurchGuy