If you feel that way, you know that you are the only one who can change that. Do you have any personal interests? Any passions?

Yes, you have to find that spark within yourself, just for yourself, with your marriage a secondary consideration.

I can "spark" myself up pretty well with extensive reading and exercise. Oh, wait--gonna put the paddles on myself. "Clear!"

haha, i need the paddles.

True everyone :) I have recently started taking up exercise and it has helped a lot. As long as I can continue on with it I know it will do great things for me! And I love doing art and have a couple projects going. I think I get caught up in being so busy taking care of everyone else that I don't take as good care of myself, but I'm working on it.

Lol, u guys r funny! :p

Is there any reason why you can't learn more about some of his interests so you will have things that you two can talk about?

Is he into sports? Show some interest and he might get excited about teaching you about them. How about politics? Movies? Cooking?

Find out what excites him when he talks with other people and learn as much as you can, then talk to him.

I understand what you're saying Lance, and I try the best that i can. I think that's an area on which we mutually lack understanding. We are pretty different in all areas. No he doesn't like sports, politics or cooking. Movies yes, and we can pretty much agree on that. He is an extreme kind of person and I think when he is feeling excitement with others it's because they're sharing dreams and ideas....just basically getting excited about...nothing. But excited none the less. I think it's different with me because we have so much invested together, our kids mainly. In other words, I guess with me he has to "keep it real". Maybe i'm just too uptight. I don't kow. Like I said I do everything I know how to do i.e. take care of the kids, do all the household things, run all the errands, fulfill his special requests...and still doesn't feel like it's enough.

I understand what you mean RivasIlene. My husband and I go out and see other people it is like he is a different person. He is talkative, excited and brings up subjects I had no idea he was even interested in. Things I would be interested in if he talked to me about them He and his entire family are also very into sports and I am not. When we are home together it sometimes seems like there is just nothing to talk about. It makes me feel very boring. When I ask him about it he says he does nothing but talk to people all day and it is nice to just relax.

One thing in one of your responses that I was wondering about is you said "and still I don't feel like it is enough". Do you mean that he thinks you should be doing more or that with all that you do, you are not fulfilled with life.

I'm sorry you feel this way too, gratitude. It is not always so black and white with us. We can have fun, it just seems like its not as stimulating as with others. And I think it's a bit of both, sometimes I get the impression from him that what I do is not enough. And I also feel like what I do is not enough, I guess I am up satisfied in a way. Not with what I have in life, because he provides so much for my kids and I, but I am just unsatisfied with myself. That is the low self esteem in me. I've always wished I were something I am not instead of just being me....because whatever I "am" just seems....pathetic.