He sounds needy. That's his baggage. People like that will suck the life right out of you. Think of ending it as self preservation. The fact that he likes to guilt people, suggests that he is a narcissist. There are 5 different types of this personality order, and one of them is an insecure type. Think of it as he missed something on God's conveyor belt. These people are broken and can't be repaired. Send him compassion in your heart, but don't let him invade your boundaries. He should be civil and respectful to you at church. If he is not, stand up for yourself. You don't owe him anything. Once he realizes that he can't "play" you anymore, he will move on to victim #2.

You sound like a nice giving person, an easy target for his type. Ask God for some protection. You did the right thing. Good luck Deb.

I totally agree with Diva. He is a needy narcissist, and you dodged a big bullet by cutting him loose. I was married to one for a long time, and Diva is right, they will suck the life out of you. Don't worry about him, he will move on to his next victim as easily as he got all wrapped up into you. I would not leave my church for him. Always be leary of men who try to make you feel guilty or the poor-me victim types.Most narcissists look for empathetic people that they can control and manipulate. That's what it is all about for them. Good luck as you move forward from this relationship. There are much healthier men out there!

Hopefully if you just give it some time things will improve and he will be able to accept your decisions and move on with his life in a productive way. In the mean time and I know it will be awkward and a bit difficult but try and not give him any extra attention. This does not mean you have to be mean or rude but I would not strike up any conversations or put yourself in a position where you even have to talk to him at least for now anyway.

The most important thing is that he respects your decisions and does not bother you or start acting in a way that scares you and if that happens then you might have to get and do tougher things but for now just give it some time and see how things go. Wishing you the best:)

Thanks for all the replies, y'all were spot on. He is a needy narcissist. I did end up leaving my church, I just couldn't deal with the "poor pitiful me" looks from him anymore, and I thought it better to not be around him anymore.

I have cut off all contact with him, we are friends on Facebook so I'm careful what I say on there, but other than that, he doesn't know anything about what I'm doing. The only thing that worries me is that we have several mutual friends, and I have no clue what he's saying to them, but I know that if they're REALLY my friends, they won't pay attention to it. One of these days I will learn to really get to know a person before I become involved in a personal relationship with them.

Thanks again!!

Good for you. And I would not worry about what he says to others. You can only control yourself and your true friends will stand by you. Good work. You've got your head screwed on straight. It's always refreshing to hear these stories. You made an honest and truthful assessment and moved on.

Good for you. You're being true to yourself. He's probably already over you, it's himself that he needs to get over. Be strong, be happy.