I think intimacy is mutual vulnerability, closeness and openness. Are you guys going through counseling? Seems to me that would be important as one partner transitions. I have to believe the entire relationship changes.

I have had a relationship die before......
If you're both willing to work on your marriage with a therapist perhaps you can get some of the trust back.... I would think that there would be a lot of counselling involved as well with transitioning???.... However both people have to want to make the effort.
Big hug......xo

Thank you we are in counseling together but I keep trying to go through the change and she is fighting me. I am so confused. One day she wants me than the next day she's telling me off for trying to cuddle. I want an emotional connection with her. Help

You going to have to realize that the body is going through a war or testosterone and estergen, I will see changes in mood swings until the body adjusts to the new dominant sex hormone the sex drive will return but it takes time and patience, I'm going on 5 months and I'm starting to feel some anxiety of having sex , but it will balance out ,

I don't know if this is just something that you're only doing here, or if it's something that you do when you're together, but you refer to your partner as "she" and if they're transitioning to be male, well it's very possible that he feels like since starting on Testosterone, you're not really there for him, or supportive of him, or attracted to him now (especially since there's a phase of puberty so to speak once starting on T where a lot of transitioning individuals feel very self conscious because some of them are at an age they obviously aren't hitting it for the first time).

Intimacy isn't just being able to sit in silence comfortably together. It's not just looking into each other's eyes and knowing there's a connection. It's about bringing them a washcloth when they've been crying, holding them while you watch tv just because, taking a shower together and spending some time giving back rubs under the warm water because it feels nice, cooking dinner or doing the dishes or laundry to give them the chance to not have to do it.

I took a psychology course in human sexuality in college, by no means has it covered all the problems I've encountered, but we did one assignment that I think might really help you a great deal. You can look some up online or ask people, but I think it works best if you try to tailor it to you and your partner: List 50 ways to be intimate without having sex.

I hope things work out for you.

I think any kind of major transition can make a person preoccupied with self and nothing else.
Maybe once she is fully advanced to where he wants to be, it will change..
what does he say when you bring up your feelings of disconnect ?