I think disagreements are normal, and your relationship actually sounds healthy from the viewpoint that he listens to you and encourages you to speak up. However, I do encourage you to work on your sensitivity issues. I'm a sensitive person (and yes, I'd like to stay that way, thank you Jewel!), but there is also a need to be confident in our own feelings and thoughts without having to worry about what everyone else thinks. (Stop me if I'm wrong here...)

When we are in the argument he isn't as encouraging and dosnt usually see my side but after the moment has passed he is great again.

Is it just me being sensitive that this worries me? It becomes so big in my mind and I have a hard time seeing things as they really are. I also have anxiety so all around I have stuff to work on.

If it is me being sensitive and anxious I can work on those things. We had a long distance relationship for 2 years and he just moved in with me. I got the anxiety under control over the phone but now I'm insecure again and worried about our relationship.

Everyone has disagreements. Your relationship is tested by how well you both can handle the conversation and find a resolution to your conflict Without causing damage to your relationship .

MONEY. It's a fairly normal disagreement in any domestic relationship or marriage. Y'know, how money should be allocated, and who gets to control it.

I look at it this way. I don't like to be angry. BUT, if I feel I'm on the side of right, I will fight tooth and nail for some principle! In short, RIGHTEOUS anger is good.

But you want to try "dodge and burn" techniques to try and resolve arguments. If one approach to the person you love doesn't work, try another, and, if they're a good person interested in maintaining the relationship, they'll try to do the same.

Both of you knowing when it just ain't worth it to continue a particular line of thought, having a sense of humor, and each of you knowing when to back off, should keep you both out of the black well of butting heads in anger.

But if you're the one doing all the acquiescing, he's always the one to win arguments and run the show, and you're not happy in that kind of relationship, start being more assertive, even if you find it exhausting, then consider how happy you are being THAT way, before you tie the knot in marriage.

My two cents, whatever they're worth (two cents).

I think that arguments are absolutely normal and healthy- a couple that agrees with each other all the time either doesn't know each other very well, or is just saying they agree so it won't cause a fight.

How you two argue is what makes the relationship healthy or unhealthy. if you two argue and get mad and throw things- that's abusive. Arguing isn't abusive, but the way you are dealing with it and choosing to argue is unhealthy. If everytime you argue, you scream and yell and call names- that's not a healthy way of arguing. If you see differently and he puts you down for it, that's not healthy. BUT if the two of you are able to disagree and respectfully talk about your different viewpoints, can compromise in the end, or agree to disagree and respectfully move on...that's more than healthy.

If we agreed with each other all the time, we had no differences we'd be with a clone of ourselves and who wants that? A relationship involves two different people who at times have different ideas, thoughts and opinions, there's nothing wrong with that.

I agree with Aronia and ChickaBOOM, what makes it healthy or unheathy is how you both handle it.

What about misunderstanding what each other is saying. A lot of times he doesn't really hear what I'm saying in the moment and that makes me feel worse. But after we take space (or in the moment) and talk about it again everything is fine and he really gets it and we work it out.

I think that misunderstandings are really a 50/50 thing. Communication is a two way street. It could be that you're talking about something at a bad time (is he distracted watching tv or working when you are talking and then he doesn't get it?), it could be that you're not choosing your words carefully and speaking clearly. On his end, it could be that he isn't giving you the attention you deserve. Either way, it's a communication breakdown.

While I understand that it can be frustrating, try not to get too upset. Talk to him calmly and explain yourself until you're sure he understands what you are saying.

When you talk, ask an open ended question at the end and use that as feedback to determine if he is getting what you're saying.

I think any relationships goes through ups and downs, but I would question why you would be getting into small arguments alot. It sounds like perhaps you both have a need to be "right:" about something and argue your point. I was in a relationship where he misconstrued things and our communication was always being questioned. We were both looking for things that the other person didn't provide. That didn't work for me. I am now dating someone where we can just talk about things, no misunderstandings, etc. You have to look at if you anxiety and insecurities are such that you are saying things that are questioning to him or are you both just misunderstanding one another. It sounds like this moving in has put you both in to every day life and perhaps you both aren't ready to handle that type of commitment.

It also sounds like he may have a need to be "right" and doesn't want to see your side of things in the moment. If that doesn't change are you ok with that? Ask yourself. We all have a need to have our own opinions on things. to be heard, and to be loved. You two may need to be more understanding of that in your relationship.

Hi healingtears

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time with this.

My partner and I also have breakdowns of communication and my oh my its frustrating sometimes. We've been living together 5 years and together for 6. I think this is a normal part of figuring out how to make a life together. As long as you both are respectful, I think its normal to disagree often enough, especially if you are opposite personalities like my partner and I are.

I myself am a sensitive person too and struggle with anxiety and depression, so I feel things passionately and doubt myself constantly. I am in therapy to help deal with this but sometimes it gets the better of me. When it happens that I am getting upset in an argument I just do my best to realize it is happening as fast as possible so I can take a little "timeout" to sit down and really think if I am arguing because I am emotional or if it is really something worth arguing about. Sometimes it is hard to figure that out in the heat of the moment.

I think though that it is normal to disagree often enough because you are both different people with different life experiences so you will often have different perspectives. As long as in the end you both feel heard and safe, its all good =)

This is just my 2 cents though.

Take care of yourself!

I think a lot of what was going on is stress from planning our wedding. We had just hit a snag in the planning and I was more anxious about it than I thought. A lot of my constant anxiety started after that. And since I was always anxious EVERYTHING made me worry.

We worked out the snag and I felt like a huge weight lifted. I feel soooo much better. I still worry a little but that's just me. We are getting a long much better and all the little what ifs and things we were arguing about don't seem that big a deal any more.

I also started using some of my skills I learned from therapy and that has helped get the worries out of my head so they don't take over my day.