There is a good PTSD board on here that might be a good support for you Stranger

You don't have to answer the phone or texts if you have other things on such as relaxing

or you could say that I have a girlfriend now and it's not really right that we're talking and texting all of the time

It would actually be kind of you to let her go so that she can move on with her life and you can say it kindly

I wish you well.... xo

I wish i had your problem... ( girlfriend who wants to hear your voice)..lol

On the violence stuff keep working on yourself you can change. I have the ability to be very violent but i keep it at bay and I don't push the pain down anymore i deal with the pain when it happens and reach out to deal with it before it becomes a problem. Luckily only a few people have ever seen that side of me and normally it was just to protect myself or my family but it was severe.

You may feel smothered but in truth it is wonderful she loves you that much as to need you.

Love is a need for another person. People try to say "I don't need anyone" but they lock themselves away from real love. True honest to God love.

I hope you can work through it. I'm not one to give too great of advice on relationships.

Welcome to DS and this forum, thestranger. Not a stranger any longer.

What I hear is you lack the ability to say what you feel. I am going to make it simple but I know it is often hard to learn assertiveness skills and to be positive not violent. Tell this woman that you need to get off the phone. And then say goodbye and hang up. Don't sit around in anger listening to her continue to talk and hoping she will be agreeable.

You are busy so you need to set limits for yourself. This is not about telling her the rules, it is about yourself deciding to make yourself enforce the rules you need to make you happier. So let's say you decide, is 10 minutes in conversation and texting is long enough for you. Then set yourself a rule that after 10 minutes or when you start to feel antsy, you will say I gotta go, thanks for calling, bye - and hang up. You have to decide not to wait for her to agree to your need to hang up.

If you want to stop texting with her, then say bye and do not respond any longer. Put her on mute or silent in the text message list. I have a friend that texts a lot and I sometimes put her on mute or silence for text messages. I answer when I can. I have also learned that with certain people, it is best to wait to respond to their text message, never respond instantly. That just gets the long string started. The thing about our phones is that our brains become trained monkeys to respond immediately.

Then you see how this goes. She may or may not be happy about your asserting yourself. But if you are assertive and positive, you won't get to the angry and aggressive, or violent. The violence often comes from our needing to assert control. The only way you know to assert control is to become so angry you act out physically. This is both poor impulse control and not doing what is best for yourself first. It is best that you be assertive and do what you need to do with this person before you become aggressive. So assert control first in a different way by telling her you need to get off the phone or not responding to text message, stay away from letting it blow up to aggressive and violent actions or works. Take an anger management class and you will learn these skills. If you don't understand assertiveness vs. aggression just do a google search and read some articles.

After you learn to be assertive about your own needs, then you can discuss things better with this woman. You may find that she is very needy or doesn't care that you have to get off the phone. Some people are all about themselves, no one else matters. She may not be hearing your weak signals that you are not interested in talking right now. That is usually on us to change how we communicate to be effective.

She is feeling that you are pulling away, and is anxious that you don’t like her anymore. She is feeling insecure. It can’t be very annoying when you are exhausted from working so much.
If you want her to chill the hell out, start sending cute memes to her as soon as you wake up and let it be the last thing before you go to bed.
Send her a message at lunch.
Tell her you are thinking about her but you are extremely busy.
If this stuff is too difficult to do, then you probably don’t like her anymore that much and that’s ok.
I am working more than full time and I am in graduate school.. so it is understandable, that you can’t talk all the time.

Hi, thank you all for replying i tried a little bit of every and it seems to be working. i message her in the morning and afternoon and take at least 2 hours each day taking to her i told her i understand she is an extrovert and i am one of the biggest antisocial introverts. and she has been invading on my recharge time so its been stressing me out a lot more than i showed. for some reason she thought i would just lose interest in her or start flirting with some one else.( i re assured her i had no interest or no funds to pursue something like hat ) i can see that Shes trying keep me on the phone with her even after i say good night and sometimes she just listens too me sleep so still working things out.

Hi, thank you all for replying i tried a little bit of every and it seems to be working. i message her in the morning and afternoon and take at least 2 hours each day taking to her i told her i understand she is an extrovert and i am one of the biggest antisocial introverts. and she has been invading on my recharge time so its been stressing me out a lot more than i showed. for some reason she thought i would just lose interest in her or start flirting with some one else.( i re assured her i had no interest or no funds to pursue something like hat ) i can see that Shes trying keep me on the phone with her even after i say good night and sometimes she just listens too me sleep so still working things out.