Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

9,961 Members

13,641 Posts

0 Online

sunnyjax 05/22/2014

yes Ive posted on here baffled by my husbands behaviour.
It came to light a few days ago he had been told as a child he had ADHD/ADD.
He brushed it off as nonsense and 'no ones perfect'

but it makes so much sense!

no where do I go with this?!
he won't accept it, at the moment anyway.
but his behaviour, deliberate or not, affects me and hurts me., and in time will break us up. yeh I know Im not perfect either with my co-D and anxiety, neither helped by his behaviour!
-
anyone any experience of this in relationships, any idea how to manage this?

deleted_user 05/22/2014

Sometimes counseling does help with this so you can get both sides of the story and understand where each one is coming from.

onetoomany 05/22/2014

Yes I agree you need to go to counseling together.

deleted_user 05/22/2014

My sons both have ADHD and one also has aspergers. If your h wants to make life better he needs to deal with things, accept it and work with it. Why people deny mental stuff when they wouldn't ignore a sprained ankle and expect it to just get better by walking on it is beyond me. ADHD or add aren't. So difficult to work with as a kid I was add and incredibly messy and disorganized. Now I can't function in a mess so my house is neat and organized, except for the boys rooms! I have to close the doors because I can't handle seeing their mess! Lol

deleted_user 05/23/2014

Don't really have experience with this in relationships, but I was diagnosed with mild ADD as a child. The medications caused side effects, so since it was mild, I just went without them. More recently, I have started to suspect that a lot of my issues may be caused by this ADD which may have stuck with me.

Just fyi, I recall you posted about your husband having a porn issue before. Studies have shown that porn addiction can cause symptoms which are similar to ADD. This is interesting, because I also used to watch a lot of porn and also displayed these symptoms. Makes me wonder if perhaps there is more to this correlation between porn and attention problems.

deleted_user 05/23/2014

And also very interesting someone should mention aspergers. I am also starting to suspect that I might suffer from aspergers. And this would not be the first time I have heard of a case of aspergers, ADD, and porn addiction together.

chicadea 05/23/2014

Counseling can be wonderfully helpful. Of course, it's ideal when both partners see the need and have a strong desire to improve and preserve the relationship but, even if he's not 100% on board the right therapist can provide objective insight and impartial advice.

If he won't go, individual counseling can help cope with difficult relationships. He may never change but you always retain the power to choose how you respond.

Best of luck to you! :)

Join the Conversation