No contact. Really, absolutely no contact. Block his number. No texting, social media, nothing.

But you have to want to do these things. You can never get over someone if you keep leaving the door open for them to come back.

Set some boundaries for yourself, when it comes to him. Don’t let this romanticized notion about him being your first boyfriend cloud your judgement.

firstboyfriend is using you
don't use him
use the experience of being used
to make him the first that you decided not to accept such from

Right on.

Hello Gift. Welcome to DS.

The traditional ex barricades beautifully outlined above might, indeed, be what is needed here, but I am wondering if you could be learning something from him. Figuring out the strictly personal attraction just might help you forge stronger relationships in the future.

Just wondering. . .

Mostly wanted to welcome you aboard. Keep sorting. Your own, strictly personal answers are in there. The only thing more unique than individual quirks is relationships between individuals.

I have tried blocking and ending all communications with him. It worked for the first year or so. But later on I tried the whole being friends thing. I hate the fact that he is the only person I can be comfortable with and connect on so many levels and I hate that I can’t seem to find anyone else that can be half of what he was to me right now

Was he a decent boyfriend? Were you a decent girlfriend/boyfriend, too? The only way to change yourself is to change yourself. Find the self esteem and gumption and discipline to stick to your guns. If he was not a good boyfriend, then this may indicate you lack self esteem or think you can fix him. If he was a good boyfriend, is the problem perhaps inside you? Just food for thought. If you are done, you are done. Stop marinating in the anxiety and anguish. But if he truly "the only one" then figure this out.

You can’t be friends with him until you are over him. And you won’t be emotionally available to anyone else until you resolve this inside yourself. That’s why no one can compare

Thank you very much guys, you have given me something to think about and how to resolve it. I am very grateful and I thank God for you all

the unhealthy relationship is the one you have with yourself
address that

I agree with you totally, and that's what I have to address

You didn’t say how the relationship was unhealthy, but you apparently know it was. So why would you want to be friends or otherwise with him? I can surely understand the soul bond that has come with him being ‘your first’. Pray for God to break that bond! Pray for your true soulmate, But, you have to be ready for your true love. Focus on yourself and knowing your worth will help you to identify the right one for you when God answerers your prayer.