Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
A little advise would be greatly appreciated!! I just want to say first off I am a good girl I devote my life to my son and my boyfriend of 8 years and I am not respected at all. I gained a lot of weight from previously being pretty slim and in shape and now after a while of some low self esteem and depression I have been loosing a lot of weight back to where I am feeling pretty good about it and my boyfriend seems mad about it i told him I am done to 139 and he told me that he better be the only one getting to see tha lt like accusing me of being a slut or something... I asked him to not look at porn because he was sickly addicted to it and I have nothing against porn I used to buy it for him until he got weird but I stumbled upon his history and sure enough he's watching it again and it's like whatever no big deal but that's not respecting me at all.
You also say that you are a good girl..
You can't be good for everyone.. It think sometimes our desire to be " good" can prevent us from engaging in self-preservation mode and asserting our boundaries early on in the relationship then we end up living with an asshole for years and years.
What are the benefits of your relationship? What are the negative sides of your relationship?
How do you FEEL coming home every day when you walk into your house ( I assume you are living together) ?
It also sounds like he has low self esteem and is jealous of you getting into shape and feeling better about yourself.
If you feel good about yourself then he can't control you so easily.
He doesn't like that.
Go ahead and keep losing weight...FOR YOU. Then, kid or no, look for another boyfriend. Let your boyfriend's worst fears come true. Let HIM sink into the well of depression.
"The generosity of women never ceases to amaze me." -Eddie Murphy, to Nick Nolte, in the movie 48 Hrs.
This guy is unreal. He is not secure in himself, but that's not the worst of it. He treats you like an object, not a person that cares for you from the heart. Being in a relationship before that was bad and controlling a (BPD person) its hard to break free, but he sounds so so demanding and demeaning why would you stay.?
I am sure it's hard to leave but I am sure you will find someone much better. (Easily) Someone who is loving and you'll feel happy with, but I know it takes time to find the one you should be with and it breaks your heart to leave. Lots of times the hardest things you'll do, is the right thing, and this is right, and it will be hard, but so good for you in the long run. This guy is not it, and don't create excuses in your head that he is. Sorry to be so blunt, but not even knowing you, I don't want to see anyone being abused and yes, that's emotional abusive and damaging to you, and your emotional well being.
Take care and find peace and please leave this Jerk!