Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Take 1 self-respecting,self-loving individual........add another of the same........Voila!
A new friend has been very kind and helpful to me. He has reminded me that i need to first come to accept and love myself before i should expect another to. I am a work in progress...discovering that I do have wants and needs (am excited to actually acknowledge that i have them) I am finally stepping upand defending myself when being verbally attacked. (it is a bit more difficult in a working situation, but I no longer will shoulder responsibility for something another has refused to do.)I have begun to remedy very unhealthy things i have continued to try to ignore and stuff. I have come a long way baby....but I still have a ways to go.
i came from a dysfunctional family and have been through alot. As far as I have come,I have my moments when the wrong words at a given moment may trigger me taking some steps back. As I struggle to become "perfect" i feel I don'tbring all to the table. So many of us have been through so much (Truthfully that is what has made us who we are)
I am a bit confused...Icame to think if you did love yourself and then another who did the same the love and connection you two did share would even further complete you????
(Yes irealize i still amahopeless romantic, but i know....the prince is dead....no room for toads......maybe hope for akind adult swine sometime down the road....lol)
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I too am a hopeless romantic that kissed a many toads before I got my prince!
About the "complete me" thing, I see you've watched Jerry Maguire huh lol! I think partners complement each other because we should be complete within ourselves, imho. I also feel/think we are always a work in progress for as long as we live; there are no "perfect" people.
You friend sounds like a winner!
I do believe
If it is necessary to have someone else "complete" oneself, one is "incomplete" on their own, by definition.
When one suffers from heartbreak, yes, they are indeed "broken" and incomplete. They are not intact. There are holes in the heart and the soul that need to be fixed, repaired, and healed. Only when those holes are healed is the heart and soul intact and healthy again. This takes time and can be very painful and requires much introspection and courage.
The easiest and quickest way to feel intact again - to feel whole and complete - is to have someone else "complete" you. Someone else to patch up the holes. It is also very tempting to do this because instead of doing the hard and dirty work of healing, you have someone else to distract you from your goal, someone to alleviate the "growing pains" that come with emotional growth.
But really all you have done is patched up the holes in the sheetrock, painted the wall and hung a pretty picture. The house itself is still weak and structurally unstable. And since the foundation and framing is not stable and strong, the house is subject to continued damage, until left un-repaired, it crumbles to the dirt.
Think of the post-relationship time as a period of major renovation. If you have to knock everything down to the foundation and studs before re-building a strong house, one that will protect you from the elements, do it. It is dirty, hard, tiring work. It can take months, maybe even years to rebuild. But a home that can withstand storms, flood and fire is a remarkable home indeed.
It's time to start the re-build!
(copied from my post on the Breakup&Divorce forum)
PS If it is not to much to ask, I could use thoughts and prayers because I am currently experiencing problems at work as well. The treatment of myself (and many others) is becoming abusive and while I have spoken up and won't take blame for others anymore (if I am responsible, i will shoulder that blame). I feel I have a double whammy right now....to be healthy and happy....I need to get out of both situations.....marriage (home) and work. (marriage was 15 yrs,.. job is 21 yrs....)
just remember everyone deserves to be happy and has the right to do whatever they need to do to find it.
keep it up you will get there eventually im sure of it