Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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fullmetalheart 10/26/2013

I've been seeing this guy recently. I've known him for a very long time but the relationship is still very new. He knows my story and how I've been hurt before... He holds me and and is very gentle with me. He makes me feel warm and he's very open with me.... Last night he told me that he loves me. He said that he has fallen in love with me inside and out... I didn't know really what to say... Except... Thank you.

He said he I don't need to say it back yet. Because I've been hurt... I just... I feel bad I didn't say it back but I'm... Not ready yet... Should I have said it back!?

deleted_user 10/26/2013

Not if you don't feel it! Do you love him and are just afraid to say it?

deleted_user 10/26/2013

It should only be said if that's how you honestly feel for the person. You don't need to feel bad because you didn't say it back. When someone says I love you, it's not said (or shouldn't be said) with expectations of hearing the words returned, it's said because that person is expressing his/her feelings.

deleted_user 10/26/2013

Dont feel bad but you need to only say it when you truely mean and feel it. So you have done the right thing.

new2free 10/26/2013

I agree with the others. You are being honest with yourself and with him, and that is the best way to be.

onetoomany 10/26/2013

ONLY say it if you mean it!

OkieMan 10/26/2013

If he owns a yacht and a house in Fiji, then you should've said it. Otherwise, I'd hold off.

StrongCelticLass 10/27/2013

@ OkieMan .....WTF?

I think this man loves you show much he doesn't care if you say it back or not. He seems confident that he knows how to find the right key that unlocks your heart to him.

Your lucky...don't let him get away!

fullmetalheart 10/27/2013

I honestly wanted to tell him I love him too... He makes me feel happy in ways I never felt with my last boyfriend... I'm just scared of falling in love again I guess. He makes me feel like I'm in high school all over again. He's confident and charming and I do feel like I'm falling for him. Hard. Even though I didn't say it back he still smiled and we still had a great time at the park. He drew me a beautiful picture and took me home, kissed me very softly then told me I have nothing to be afraid of anymore.. He'd protect me from the "monsters"

OkieMan 10/27/2013

That's called a "joke" Strong, figured it was pretty obvious.

The phrase "I love you too" should not be said unless it's felt, and that includes this shorter-term relationship and long-term relationships, even when married. It should be said with depth and sentiment, not as a reply. That's my thoughts anyway.

deleted_user 10/27/2013

You just got out of a very physically, verbally and emotionally abusive relationship, just make sure you're going into this new relationship and falling for this guy for the right reasons and not the wrong reasons. He can't protect you from your monsters, he can't make your fears go away, only you can do that by dealing with the issues you have due to your past and healing from them. If you're afraid to fall in love again that could mean you're not ready to fall in love again.

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