Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I wonder, after reading so many posts here, how many of us rely on achieving our goals as the road to happiness:
If only I had _______, more money, a soul-mate, if only we lived together, if only we were married, if only we had kids, if only my spouse or significant other were perfect, then I'd be happy...
rather than recognizing that the journey along the way, the process of getting to the goal, living for today, is the happiness?
If only I had _______, more money, a soul-mate, if only we lived together, if only we were married, if only we had kids, if only my spouse or significant other were perfect, then I'd be happy...
rather than recognizing that the journey along the way, the process of getting to the goal, living for today, is the happiness?
I try to always be happy, even along the journey to the goal, but I can't say I have always been successful.
A little over a year ago, I was diagnosed with a rare, incurable brain disease that mimics all the symptoms of a brain tumor. It was not easy to be happy from the pain and sickness, it's exceptionally hard to be happy when you're suffering and you're trapped inside a diseased and sickly body. My goal was to get my health back and save my vision because the excess fluid in my brain was damaging my optic nerves, I knew if I could feel even a tiny bit better I could live happily and forever, if I could survive the worst I'd live grateful of everyday. It took over a year, but I did get better, I put my illness into remission...it's not permanent, but for as long as I keep fighting I'm at a place where I'm off medications and living most days without pain and sickness. Achieving my goal did bring all the joy in the world though, I'm happy and grateful for the smallest things in life, I live everyday knowing it's the greatest blessing to behold.
So in my life thus far, I can live happily without everything except my health. Being healthy is the most important thing in the world to me.
The book "The Power of Now" talks about that.
I totally agree with you.
This has been a tough few weeks, I will admit. Long story short...I had a stage II melanoma removed in August and, out of the blue about a month ago, a lymph node swells up in my neck...hard as a freaking rock. After a trip to my primary doc AND my surgeon, neither could determine it was the cause of an infection (everything including blood work indicated I had no infection) so I had a CT scan yesterday. I am still awaiting results.
It was hard to think of the positive at times. I found myself not concentrating very well and, for once in my life, actually being scared. I am still totally convinced it is NOTHING but the stress still made it hard to be positive at times.
So, thanks for forcing me to reflect on all I DO have.