Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I think I successfully talked my way out of an endless conversation in the supermarket today, with a 79-year-old gentleman who didn't know me from Adam, wearing a wig, who was quite fascinating, to soak up his knowledge, experience and perspective, but who was also quite insane. He obviously needed someone to listen to him, and I was warm and accomodating, at first, until it became apparent that he wanted to keep me there indefinitely, and I had another place to go. So I pretended to put his e-mail address into my cell phone (I have no intention of dealing with him again), and politely excused myself from him, helping him feel like a superstar! We parted on good terms lol.
Any experience you folks have with setting boundaries? I tend to let my guard down TOO much, be TOO warm and TOO caring, to the point where it must look like I have "nice guy", "sap" or "sucker" tatooed to my forehead, and people suck me down into their black vortex of hell, their muck. It's important to keep a sense of humor and talk one's way out of such a situation.
Any experience you folks have with setting boundaries? I tend to let my guard down TOO much, be TOO warm and TOO caring, to the point where it must look like I have "nice guy", "sap" or "sucker" tatooed to my forehead, and people suck me down into their black vortex of hell, their muck. It's important to keep a sense of humor and talk one's way out of such a situation.
I think you handled the situation with the old man very good :) Obviously the man is very lonely, and you probably really brightened his spirits by giving him some attention :) That was sweet of you!
I have found that if I'm alone and this happens, I have to keep moving. I have a list of generic excuses for getting away (have to pick up my daughter/niece, on my way to a meeting, appointment, etc.) If I'm in my school building and a colleague friend notices this happening, she will call my phone extension and I pretend I'm needed elsewhere. I do the same for her. Works like a charm.
Really, there's not much else that I've found works. If you keep talking, so do they. I just give my excuse, politely excuse myself, and start moving away. I've even walked into a bathroom before to get away. :)