Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have told my spouse to call me, every night, and 830 pm was the agreed-on time. We're both at work then.
I am trying to not feel so lonely in the marriage...
But this is a test, too.
I told her to set an alarm on her phone, and she said sometimes she does not hear her phone go off...
Last night she forgot to call. I called her at 930, got no answer.
This is one small thing. But it's something I really need to be happy with our schedules...daily contact. As it is I'm feeling angry and sad from her just missing one day.
She says she loves me...
But if she loves me why do I feel like I'm often the last thing on her mind?
My PTSD became a massive problem last year. It scared her. Her normal mannerisms scared me (Screams bloody murder if she drops something, and drops stuff all the time) So we mutually avoided each other.
But I was really lonely before that.
So, the call. She has a month for me to keep reminding her that she's supposed to call me nightly. After that, if she has not made a habit of it and remembers to do it most of the time...it's not happening. And I have learned something.
I am trying to not feel so lonely in the marriage...
But this is a test, too.
I told her to set an alarm on her phone, and she said sometimes she does not hear her phone go off...
Last night she forgot to call. I called her at 930, got no answer.
This is one small thing. But it's something I really need to be happy with our schedules...daily contact. As it is I'm feeling angry and sad from her just missing one day.
She says she loves me...
But if she loves me why do I feel like I'm often the last thing on her mind?
My PTSD became a massive problem last year. It scared her. Her normal mannerisms scared me (Screams bloody murder if she drops something, and drops stuff all the time) So we mutually avoided each other.
But I was really lonely before that.
So, the call. She has a month for me to keep reminding her that she's supposed to call me nightly. After that, if she has not made a habit of it and remembers to do it most of the time...it's not happening. And I have learned something.
In my life, seems the less I ask, the less I get.
Now I am down to ... getting nothing.
She seems like she is deliberately withholding, but maybe I am projecting from the withholding I am experiencing.
Second, what is this about she has a month? Are you testing her? What happens if she fails the test? Are you going to kick her out? Divorce her?
You say you have some PTSD issues and that it scared her. I think you really need to get into some counseling. She cannot make you a happy person. I think you are relying on her to make you feel happy and less lonely. You have to learn to be happy with your own company, even in a marriage.