Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I am constantly letting my boyfriend down. I act in ways that are selfish and I keep telling him I don't know why. He is so annoyed with my behavior and is ready to pull the plug on the relationship because ot the way I am treating him. Tonight, I asked him to call me about dinner before he came home, and he did, three times, and when I was out running around I looked to see I missed his call and text and then I texted him "Sorry I missed you" he didnt respond. So when he came home, he said I called you three times why didnt you call me back? I didnt know what to say. I said sorry and he dropped the food stormed into the bedroom and said he is so tired of the way I act. I am just like so mad at myself, why didnt I call him?
I wanted to point out too, that just based on this post alone, you seem VERY hard on yourself.
Have you done this with any relationship partners in the past? Were you hurt sometime in the past by someone you loved, perhaps? Do you know any adult women who treat their partners as you are doing? Could you have somehow learned that was the way women are supposed to act in long term relationships? When I looked back on my life, I saw a lot of times when I either did something to end a relationship, or did nothing to improve it, so it just sort of withered on the vine.
I also judged myself without mercy. I blamed my self for the breakups, but in reality, I was no always the dumper. Sometimes I was the dumpee, but that didn't hurt as much because I never let the relationship develop. it takes two people to be the any relationship to make it work.