I would just smile turn around and walk away. Leave the room. My ex had a friend like that. The ex thought it was okay for him to do that. In fact that is where he got his manual on "How to Act Stupid, in five easy steps" from. I told my ex when he wanted me to serve him things, "he is your friend, you deal with him". I am going out with the kids and I did.

The friend is not the real problem. Your husband is the problem. My husband is not perfect by any means but he’d never let a friend disrespect me, whether it’s the friend being a jack-hole to me directly or disrespecting me privately to my husband.

Why do you think he can’t he just tell his friend, hey buddy, I can’t have you acting this way about my wife and then tell him the consequences if it continues.? Is it because he doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal? Just curious if he really feels if it doesn’t bother him then it shouldn’t bother you?

Can you give me one specific example, or the last thing he did that was disrespectful to you?

Your husband is more passive than you. He likes this friend for whatever reason. Husband may believe that friend is more important to please than his wife (perhaps a form of codependence?). Maybe the friend says things to you that the husband agrees with. Your husband is the problem or is part of the problem.

I don't know what this friend says or does to you. There are many ways to handle this kind of crap. Walking away is one, making a joke back to the rude person is another, and looking the person in the eye and saying something like "ouch" or "that was rude" is a very direct way to express how you are feeling. But I don't know what this guy is really doing so I hesitate here.

This is a sticking point in my marriage, too. I finally asked my husband why he spends time with disrespectful jerks (who treat us both poorly). His response was that he knows they are jerks, but they have things (hobbies) in common so he doesn't plan to cut them out.

You can only control your own response. In my case, if I was invited to an outing with my husband's friends, I would ask if that certain person was going to be there. If the answer was yes, I declined the invitation.

You can also ask your husband what he gets from maintaining that relationship. The answer might not satisfy you, but it will give you an idea why he puts up with it.

I am in a hobby group where there is one disrespectful woman. She mentioned she had a group of friends who all call each other every day to check on each other. Later, she verbally attacked me by saying some very disrespectful things, demeaning things. I did speak up and tell her this was not acceptable and she had to stop. She sees her own opinions as "right" but it is hate speech when you hate the people you are pontificating about and outright demean them for whatever you find objectionable. And I have wondered how do these other people she mentions stay in friendship with this woman, her tight circle of friends that call each other every day. Does she not say the hateful, demeaning things to them or do they all believe as she believes so they give her a pass? So I guess lots of people tolerate "friends" who are disrespectful. Maybe we close our eyes to their personalities because it is better than not having a friend. Which I guess is my point here.

I would have a big problem with someone who disrespected me especially in my own home!!

I would have a serious conversation with your husband about this and let him know that you find it completely unacceptable

If he wants to still see him when he treated me badly I would wonder why??.... I wondered about a specific example as well?

Big hug.....xo