Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Well the relationship I've been trying to build is all but healthy. I've been seeing her for the since July of this year and in the beginning things were great. When I first met her she made her own decisions towards relationship but lately everything involving me and her she always has to get her sister or moms permission. I feel like if she is 23 years old with 2 children she should be enough of an adult to make her own decisions about what she wants to do with her love life.
On top of that when she is around her baby daddy on "Baby Daddy Day" I will only hear from her that morning just enough to say good morning and then I might not hear from her until 8 pm.
But the worst part to me is when I first met her she told me her family didn't mind if she dated other races (I'm black she's white) but all of a sudden two weeks ago when we went out to the club with her "happily married but cheating" best friend when I went to take her home I had to use her friends car to take her home because her family doesn't approve of interracial dating.
I have a ADD/ADHD which is why I am so random at times. I feel like her sister and friends make fun of that with the remarks they make to her they think I'm "retarded", "slow" "idiot" and etc. I try not to tell anyone that I have it because I don't want them to feel like I'm making excuses for myself but I've told her because she keeps asking why am I so random.
I don't know whether I should continue to try to be with her or just remain friends only. I really like her but I feel like I'm only headed for heartbreak due to her potentially meeting someone else. If it were you in this situation what would you do?
On top of that when she is around her baby daddy on "Baby Daddy Day" I will only hear from her that morning just enough to say good morning and then I might not hear from her until 8 pm.
But the worst part to me is when I first met her she told me her family didn't mind if she dated other races (I'm black she's white) but all of a sudden two weeks ago when we went out to the club with her "happily married but cheating" best friend when I went to take her home I had to use her friends car to take her home because her family doesn't approve of interracial dating.
I have a ADD/ADHD which is why I am so random at times. I feel like her sister and friends make fun of that with the remarks they make to her they think I'm "retarded", "slow" "idiot" and etc. I try not to tell anyone that I have it because I don't want them to feel like I'm making excuses for myself but I've told her because she keeps asking why am I so random.
I don't know whether I should continue to try to be with her or just remain friends only. I really like her but I feel like I'm only headed for heartbreak due to her potentially meeting someone else. If it were you in this situation what would you do?
I don't think there can be anymore 'red flags' being thrown at you. You are apparently a gentlemen who is ready for a more mature lady, so it might be a good idea to let this little girl go and move on. It's up to you though! You already see some major problems hon, so if you decide to continue to hang out with her, you must realize you are fully accountable for what happens.
Good Luck!
She has to put her big girl panties on and make decisions for herself. Chances are that if the family is involved to this degree now, it won't change no matter how long you are together. You don't want that anyway.
I hope that you make the right decision for you. Hang in there.
its how she is with u
maybe shes not strong enough to say to her family "this is my life, im happy so accept him or dont"
have you told her how you feel?
time to find someone who is not dependent upon another, get on with your life.
Yeah, 23 is legally an adult, but this chick is clearly not ready to be a mom. But it's her problem. Don't make it yours. I wouldn't even be friends with her personally, even if I were her age. Too flighty, immature, violatile, unsure of what she wants, has to ask "permission" from her family to get a car ride home from you. She's mentally still a kid. Had sex without protection and got pregnant. Whoops! Duh! That kind of thing is going to happen!
Your ADD/ADHD sounds like it's triggered from this kind of stress and anxiety. If I were you, I'd get away from the chick and the whole "out 'til 5am" drunk club scene, work out and get plenty of sleep.