Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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Should i be in a relationship right now

KatPierce
KatPierce

So everything today has just blown up in my face and it honestly has nothing to do with my relationship. I have a good guy who I like but theres my best friend who is expressing some feeling which i used to have for him and now there coming back. I have an issue lying to people that i love and one just blew up in my face and Im secind guessing the fact that i should be in a relationship right now seeing as i cant even take care of myself and my family. I dont like these second thoughts that im getting he doesnt deserve it but im afraid of ending this because what if i lose something great that i didnt even know i had. its been almost a year. so conflicted about him, my best friend, and working on myself.

Aronia
Aronia
I think you can have a relationship but just approach it thoughtfully .
Like if you know that you need to work on yourself, make sure that you schedule time to do these things and not lose yourself in the relationship.
Date him twice a week and spend the rest of the time on healing yourself. Go to therapy, organize your house, exercise, take classes.
I feel like in order to be successful in a relationship , you have to feel like a success yourself .
KatPierce
KatPierce
What if i don't want one with him anymore. i honestly don't know if I'm staying in this relationship just because Ive invested so much into it and i don't want to disappoint anyone or if i still want to be with him
RobertH
RobertH
I went through something similar a few years ago. I was with a guy who had trouble committing to the relationship. I moved on. When I started dating my (now) husband, he all of a sudden wanted me back in his life. From my perspective, both had a bit of jealousy and my husband didn't like that I spent time with him. It took a lot of soul searching and it was a very rocky period of time.

Eventually, I found that my friend could be my friend and my husband could be my husband. Before I got to that point, however, I broke off the friendship and spent several months not communicating at all. During that time, I focused on what I wanted and I focused on my new relationship. Once that was solidified a bit, I was able to resume the friendship.

I'm not suggesting you should do the same thing as me. Every relationship is different, but taking some time for yourself is probably good advice. Maybe even consider keeping a journal. Please feel free to message me if I can help.