Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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onmymind2000 02/07/2015

Her friend text to tell me she took a plane to SC to stay with family. She had it planned for a while, but didn't want to tell me because I would try and talk her out of it, she said. I text her to see if it was true and all she said was "yes" and that she "hoped I would find whatever I was looking for."

Our house is a rental, and I am the only one on the lease, so I guess that's that. She doesn't care about our dog, apparently, but that's ok, too. I would have wanted to keep the dog, anyways.

As it is all hitting me, I see she had this planned for a while. She never put her name on anything legal. The one car we have is in my name. She never wanted a joint checking account for bills, so she probably knew. She's not stupid.....she knew.

I just got the text a little bit ago, so I haven't told anyone. They all probably knew it was coming. Lots of people have very strong opinions when you let your GF cheat multiple times and keep taking her back.

It all really hasn't hit me yet. I need to process this, and I don't know how and when and how long it will take, but I will process it.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by to give me good advice. I appreciate it.

jancam 02/07/2015

Stick around and get some support.
Hugs
jc

Quietstorm17 02/07/2015

I know you must be feeling awful, and that is ok. You will grieve, and you will also get through it. Try the breakup and divorce support group, it helped me a lot when I was going through a break up of 10 years. The best advice I can offer you is to take it literally minute to minute. For me it felt like I couldn't even look forward the next hour with out feeling lost, I had to go my days minute to minute, that was all I could bare. Do things you enjoy, try new things, just get up and GO do something. Cry if you need to, and remember all your feelings are normal and okay and have to be felt in order to move on.

Best of luck to you ((hugs))

Aronia 02/07/2015

I am So sorry!!!! :-(
I am floored by her cold tactical moves... And this whole breaking up by text thing is so hurtful.
Hugs...

onmymind2000 02/07/2015

Hey thanks everyone.

I know I need support, but at this time, I really don't know what to ask or how to ask.

My parents are in their 60's. I am not going to bother them with my drama. My sister is currently going through a divorce, and never liked my GF anyway. She will probaby trash her and make me feel worse.

It's hard to open up and talk about feelings. My buddies and I really don't do all that.

I will figure out how to get support here. I just don't know what I am doing.

Quietstorm17 02/07/2015

I can completely relate, I also have no one to talk to outside of here, and when I do try to open up to people I just feel like they get tires of listening and overall don't care or maybe just don't know what to say. Thank god for counseling! (Though I'm paying her to listen, lol.)

I hope you can open up here, if no where else. We are all going through stuff and in the least are here to offer support.

onetoomany 02/08/2015

Man that was COLD.

I am so sorry!

I know it's hard to see now, but her finally leaving is the best thing that has happened to you.

(((hugs)))

Aronia 02/08/2015

Everyone copes with breaks ups differently, but one of the major components that is helpful, i think, is having a good alliance with your primary doctor ( for medications like sleeping pills, antidepressants, etc) and a therapist, because for a while it is going to be incredibly hard. You are probably going through the first stage of it - shock. Once that wears off, you will be able to identify the needs you have. Most people want to talk about.. Sad, angry alternates. It is a huge loss.
Hugs.

onmymind2000 02/08/2015

I am in shock. That is a great way to put it.

Thanks everyone.

koolman 02/09/2015

I know you're hurting, but I think it was cool of her to at least not fuck you over financially, unless you needed her there to help with finances too. Was she contributing any money?

onmymind2000 02/09/2015

She did contribute financially, but at the end of the day, I handled the majority of what we did, and everything was in my name.

With her hiding her engagement for six months, it really doesn't matter. She had no intention on contributing to our relationship.

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