Because "girls" can be immature, insecure twits. You are 31. Maybe you should date women.

Hello, Travis. Welcome to DS.

My sexuality is called into question again. Yet another *girl* thing that never even occurred to this old girl. I thought this was a by-product of internet addiction.

Hope you get the girl/boy thing figured. Gentle support while you sort.

Welcome aboard.

It may be insecurity. Do you know if she a bad relationship before where she was cheated on or verbally abused? In some cases, you can be friends with your ex, but in other's you can't. It depends on the situation. You and your girlfriend will need to talk openly and honestly and see where you are in your relationship and where you want to be as a couple.

I would be bothered by this as well...… I agree that it's really" highschoolish " and it's 'your' phone


I also agree that an open and honest discussion might hopefully help moving forward


Big hug......xo

I think if you loved your current girlfriend and you knew it hurt her that you follow your ex, you would unfollow. You wouldn't be posting on here all righteous.

I agree with 11Christmases...I think each of us need to be loved in the way we need love. Not in how you think someone should be loved. I hope this makes sense. Loving looks different to different people. If something so simple as unfollowing your ex girlfriend is all that it would take to help her feel better than you should do that. She is after all your current girlfriend. Your ex probably would never know any way, but your current girlfriend does. We all have our insecurities, it doesn't matter how old we are. They are just not the same insecurities!

This is not something that suddenly happened, it must have been building up for a while.
She is insecure about something... if you care, maybe you can get to the bottom of it.
Unless she is a total psycho, most people don’t just decide to snoop through someone’s phone.. it is induced by something.
Maybe she has been cheated on before and something triggered her.
But no matter what the reason is, she is not handling it properly.
If she had any issues, it should have been discussed in a mature way at home.

Actually, relationships shouldn't be "hard". IMHO, if relationships are hard, there is something inherently mismatched in the pairing. If the pair isn't evenly "yoked", the pair will struggle to move evenly and smoothly in the relationship.

If I am insecure in a relationship (or in general), it is MY job to work on self improvement. Not rely on my SO to make my feel better about myself.

FWIW, when I met my now husband, he was a body piercer at a tattoo shop. He saw (and handled) more nips and clits than a man should be allowed to see. But, me being a bad-ass woman with lots of confidence in myself, was never bothered by that. I knew the kinda of man he was - I knew he would never do anything inappropriate with his clients. I never even considered telling him what he could or could not pierce.

Why do you need your ex girlfriend in your life still?

Coming from a girl who got cheated on with an ex, there is No reason for you to keep your ex girlfriend in your life, if it is making your girlfriend unhappy. I repeat. NO Reason.

You are showing her it is more important to have your ex girlfriend in your life than her. If she's a little insecure? It means she cares. It means she is committed. Let your ex go. Move on. If you don't want her, and only her, don't waste her time.

when you follow or friend someone on social media, what does that have to do with real life? I just don’t get having diarrhea over this kind of thing. If you were hanging out with her or talking to her all the time and it was taking away from your relationship for real, that’s different.

On the flip side, there are no details about issues or concerns with ex and the girlfriend to know if there is more to this issue.

What I really want to know is, what the hell is “a foreign cuisine?”

If she's a little insecure, it means she cares???

No it means she is insecure. I care a whole helluva lot for my husband, you might even say I love him, but I don't freak out that is friends with his ex. Because I'm secure like that.

And being insecure is a big target for lots of narcs and other emotional predators. It is really easy to manipulate someone when they are insecure regarding their status in the relationship.

I just caught that. A little insecure does not mean she cares or is committed. It just means she’s insecure. You can’t use the insecure thing to steer people in submitting to you. That’s unreasonable.

I have to agree with what others have written about insecurity.... It also means she's trying to be controlling due to HER insecurity

I've been casual friends with ex's and someone going through my FB telling me who to or not have on a FB list I would find a bit much