Healthy Relationships Support Group
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A sexual relationship is supposed to be wonderful, yet I hear so many stories here about how one person is "not getting enough" or how he wants to do something that she doesn't or vice versa, and it seems overlapping alterior fantasies are a recipe for discord and disaster.
Anyone, please tell me they're enjoying happy and harmonious sexual adventures and the sex life is still exciting after 5+ years...
Anyone, please tell me they're enjoying happy and harmonious sexual adventures and the sex life is still exciting after 5+ years...
That said, it does not come easy. Anything worth while takes work! HARD WORK! Harmonious relationships do not just happen - You need to have OPEN communication and TRUST in your partner.
Over the past 28 years there has been downs and ups. I say ups last as there have been more ups. Good luck in what you are searching for Koolman.
I feel that the problems ppl end up having are due to the speed at which they get together initially. Those that take longer to become intimate seem to have less problems than those that hook up one night and then stay together for a few years. (But anything's possible given the range of expression.) I just think thre's something to be said for getting to know your bedpartner BEFORE you get into bed with them.
I think early communication on expectations has a lot to do with it, too. Plenty of folks feel comfortable "doing it," but gods help them if they want to talk about it! LOL Good communication skills help any relationship. A long lasting, mutually satisfying *sexual* relationship needs both partners to talk... to share... whether it's which lube is better, which positions are painful, or what their deepest fantasies are. Unless ppl are willing to talk openly & honestly, things get messed up. If only one side is heard from and only one side's desires are acted upon, the relationship becomes off balance.
It's entirely possible to be in a long term relationship and still have vibrant sex. But the key components are being open to each other & being willing to try new things.
For many years my marriage was just getting by and our sex life was lackluster. Despite having a severely decreased libido and not getting along well with my husband, we still had sex at least once a week. I knew that despite my lack of desire he still needed the sex. Eventually we moved up to twice a week.
After I requested a divorce almost two years ago, he began working harder to make our marriage successful and stay together. We went to counseling for a while and that helped a bit.
I knew that it was really up to me to make the changes in our sex life. Truth be told, I just wasn't feeling sexy. I lost quite a bit of weight and began doing things to make myself more in the mood like buying lingerie and such. That in turn helped me to feel good about myself and helped him to desire me also. Our sex life is now better than it ever was. It is even better than when we first met and married.
We have sex about 3-4 times a week despite sometimes being frazzled by our three kids. We always have orgasms and enjoy doing whatever the other wants to do. And even when we're tired, we still find ways to make it enjoyable.
One key to that success is us just spending time together beforehand to talk, cuddle, and be close. My husband works long hours and having sex is one way we reconnect at the end of the day.
I would also venture to say that attitude is an important part of the equation. Without the right attitude from both of us, we wouldn't be doing so well.
(we have been married 14 years)
Not worried about it at all, we both work on our relationship and are reading some awesome relationship books. So we are constantly rebuilding each other up.
my GF & i are reaching 5 years as well, & our sex has just gotten better. there was a low period, for sure - we were both under a lot of stress - but i really think it is better than it ever was - which is saying alot, because when we started going out it was really very hot - like scorching!
i think the secret - & here i am going to be in full agreement with Uber - is communication. checking in, communicating with your partner, staying in touch, is what makes it all possible. honesty & trust do more for removing inhibitions than alcohol ever could, & you don't feel like crap in the morning.