Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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jenlozi 04/30/2014

Somehow I keep attracting men that don't want to stay around. I started dating my boyfriend 4 1/2 years ago right out of a divorce from a very similar situation with my husband having affairs. He came on very hot and strong almost proposing in the first month and talking about marriage frequently at the beginning. I did not trust, and I was not ready. Over the past year everything has become 'I'. He no longer made us a priority, took a job at night, I never see him. claimed he is always too tired to do anything.

And then one day, He just moved out without even discussing it with me. He doesn't leave a forwarding address or anything. He won't talk to me answer my e-mails or anything. He is a church going man and we go to the same church and have tickets for a mission trip to Africa. And I see he has an account on Zoozk the day he left. I am dumbounded by his actions.

In lots of hurt and Pain. Any Advice

Aronia 04/30/2014

That is so awful... Why would someone do that to a person who shared a life with him for years?? I m so sorry :-(

AurorasHope 04/30/2014

I agree with Aronia. Just more proof, not that its really needed, that just b/c one goes to church, it doesn't make them a decent or "Godly" person.

deleted_user 04/30/2014

Jesus. Christ. WTF is wrong with people?

HELL, I was irritated when a dude I talked to for two months bounced on me and stop talking, but this guy LIVED with you and spent four years with you??? Again, I say WTF?

I'm sorry this happened to you...but, my god, you will be better off. This is not an encouraging hallmark of a man; he is a coward and, clearly, avoids grown up conversations. I know it hurts, but UGH.

MTZ3 04/30/2014

That is aweful..so sorry...

koolman 04/30/2014

It's "the honeymoon phase", ladies.

Maika 05/01/2014

wtf is right! that is messed up? Sounds like he took the cowards way out.
Obviously he wasn't good enough for you. I am a serial monogamer but I at least let them know well in advance when i feel our relationship has run its course (usually around the time we start planning the wedding lol)
I was labelled the real life run a way bride and never did I just book it in the middle of the night without explaination.

Shine14 05/01/2014

Someone who disrespects you by leaving without an explanation, and wont even show you the courtesy to answer your emails/etc is not the type of person you would want in your life anyway.
I know that doesnt make it hurt any less, at least not right now.
If you havent already checked it out, the Breakups/Divorce board here is full of people sharing similar experiences. Many of us here are also over there.

jenlozi 05/01/2014

Thank you Shine. I will check it out.

shelle68 05/01/2014

Yes, Kool.. It's the "honeymoon phase". Things seem so wonderful in the beginning. You meet some one and "fall in love". That isn't real love. It doesn't last. You have to real work on it and it has to be healthy.

deleted_user 05/01/2014

Wow, koolman, you have some looooooong honeymoon phases with women. Mine definitely end before the 4.5 year mark this woman is talking about.

Misred 05/02/2014

I agree with post 5 and 6. Jen said over the past year the relationship has declined. You wrote you started dating him right out of a divorce. I think this is a huge mistake many people make....dating so soon. You didn't notice the red flag he was waving (Hot and heavy, almost proposing in the first month). Sounds like you both were rebounds for each other or he was using you until he could move on.

Sorry dear, I also agree with the others....you do not deserve the disappearing act. (((HUGS)))

jimthzz 05/02/2014

Can you get a refund on the plane tickets?

jenlozi 05/02/2014

Very true shelle.

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