It's true--the human soul isn't perfect! I too sometimes get depressed, anxious and drink lol. But once I know I love ya, I'm faithful, sweet and loyal to the core, from the depth of my very being.

I believe that, Koolman

My just-ended relationship that started out OK but went ugly has made me wonder if it's even worth believing in romantic love. I still believe in love of parents (some of them) for a child, people's love for friends, love for animals, etc. but when it comes to man/woman love I am almost convinced it's never more than a man wanting sex and/or housekeeping.

LivingWater, I am so sorry that this guy turne out to be such an asshole..
I don't think it is fair to group all men into that circle.. We all want the same things , it is just statistically we are more likely to meet a jerk than a loving person.
This guy was a flop. Moving on to better things , because a good woman like you deserves a god man!

I've seen some amazingly good relationships...and many bad ones. Seems the older you get, the harder it is to find available people who don't have severe issues.

Everyone has issues and problems. You need to be able to accept potential partners as they are. Especially as you get older.

Aronia, I was thinking the same thing the other day about the people in my life.

LivingWater, I'm married and I'm starting to feel the same. My love for people is unconditional but I've realized the world has a bi polar meanings of true love.

I have been married 26 years this year. I have very mixed feelings about this post. It seems that everyone believes that you have to accept your partners bad behavior and get over it if you want a long term relationship to work.

I don't want to bore all of you with my whole story but I can try to boil down my beliefs on long term relationships.
First off let me say that our marriage hasn't been all bliss. It's been damn hard work at times. We've had to find reasons to stay together at various points in our marriage.
Yes we both have our own individual faults but for me I truly believe that the right partner will make you want to grow into a better person. Not expect them to accept you for who you are faults and all. Yes forgive mistakes of course. But grow from them. I too see a lot of people continuing to be unfaithful or mean, or disrespectful and their partners looking past it with the words "well it's how they've always been, I need to accept them for who they are".
I guess as i'm writing this I realize that my wife and I have been very lucky in finding each other. Neither of us are perfect but both of us do want to continue growing as individuals and in turn we want to grow as better partners for our spouse.
I used to believe that being a better husband meant doing everything my wife wanted to do and eventually that thinking turned me into a codependent parnter. It was a very horrible time in our life. My wife one day looked at me and said "I don't know if we're going to make it. I look at you and I see myself. I married you because you complemented me, challenged me. Now you are me."
We almost divorced. However I studied. I read. I did some soul searching. I learned to love myself again.
And at first it felt like I was being selfish but in hindsite I now realize that I can be better husband by loving my wife as me. An individual.
I'm getting off topic I feel and I guess I'm not sure at this point that i've helped anyone sort out anything.
I guess all I am trying to say is that for our relationship we have made it work by finding a partner that both complements and challenges each other to continue growing as individuals so that we can come together as a better couple.
My hope is that each of you can find that person in your life.

I guess i've rambled on long enough for now

Good karma... This was so insightful.... I m floored.
Thank you.

As long as there's genuine warmth at the core of us for each other, admiration, adoration, affection, kindness, softness, we're able to withstand each other's rough edges, faults, imperfections. When warmth disappears, forget it, the relationship is gone, done. We have to make time, to really be calm, relax, enjoy each other, listen to each other, really be emotionally present for each other. And yes, sexual sizzle has to be there too, otherwise we're just friends, acquaintences, roommates. There's nothing wrong with sex. The problem is when there's just lust, without an underlying warmth. Then it's just flesh, mechanical. And the flesh is limited. It gets old, wrinkles, sags. There's got to be something under the hood, warmth, as well as an animal survival instinct, that thing that makes us push, for more life and more love.

Great insight GoodKarma!!! complement and challenge--great!! You can not challenge if you are extremely passive/possibly an enabler.
thank you all ...so good and helpful!

I know, just within myself, when I'm feeling warm and loving, I look and feel at least 15 years younger than I am, and I'm more attractive to potential mates. And I have to dig deep to find that warmth when I'm not feeling it. I have to find SOMETHING in this world that I love. In the absence of warmth, I feel old, twisted, gnarled, ugly, disgusting, dead inside. So what else is there in life than feeling warm inside? Death.

More kudos for GoodKarma!

I have more thoughts about this and hope to be back with my take, once I am able to clearly articulate them.

GoodKarma, I am hoping one day, for that very same thing. Some of us didn't get it right the first time, or the 2nd, lol, but I'm still hoping, I know there is love out there for me, and the right person will come along. I agree Aronia on all the points you made too, it does seem kind of melancholy when we see the relationships that say well he drinks, but he's always been that way, but atleast he doesn't cheat, but he is irresponsible, could be worse, no we are not perfect human beings, but we do seem to find our other half, some of us do anyway, that compliments us, and does make us want to be a better person. I'm coming out of years of experience, and pain and all I can say is I am on a road back to me now, and all I can envision for me now as well as for my daughters is hope that even if there isn't the other half, that I can still be whole, by myself. I am glad I figured out that I don't need another man to validate me, I'm good, I'm loving, I have a few bumps and bruises, but I haven't let that discourage me, it keeps me always wanting to be my better self, and like you said
we all got stuff, it's true, but some of us, thankfully are able to find these relationships and share their story, and give people like me hope. Thank you for this post, it was rather enlightening.

Thank you all for the kind words.

Like I said I/ we got lucky to find one another when we did. We both of course thought we knew what love was when we married. We didn't have a clue. Love is compromise and friendship and arguments and growth. Love is constant soul searching and honesty with yourself and your partner.
My wife and I are both very honest with one another and the ongoing promise we have with each other is that if we find ourselves not being able to stay committed to the other that we let them go. It is not our intention to hold one another hostage.
I read all of your comments and you are all doing it right. Learning to love yourselves. My wife and I have had stages in our marriage where we have had to do it on the fly, in the middle of the relationship. I think those are the hard times.

Here I go rambling again. Thank you all for the kind words.

I just have to believe that there is love for everyone out there but I also look around and feel that many people have become so consumed in "life" that it makes it difficult to love another person on a level that is beyond casual. I believe that for me, if my wife and I ever did split for any reason I don't know that I could put the energy into loving another woman like I do her. And she tells me she wouldn't have the energy to train another man :D
So maybe that's our secret...