Oh Boy, I just was on here 3 days ago talking about my girlfriend and a commitment ring, and (she wanted an expensive one) but now I reached out to my ex-wife, (Only been divorce 1 month now) and asked her if I could talked to her. I missed her tremedeously over the last 7-8 months. We were married 34 years and she left me without notice, without trying to go to counseling etc, (I begged for it) and she spent money like crazy duringour marriage and a ton right before she told me she leaving and then was deceptive and lying to me about many things even through the divorce. I n the late stages, she ask if I wanted to stop the divorce and at first I said yes, but my good friends thought and so did I that she was manipulating me again to her own advantage. She was asking for an incredible amount and telling me she cares and this is fair etc, etc.

Anyway, I been going out with this other girl for over a year, and care for her, told her I love her many times, but now my feelings our waning on that.I hate that!!!

So, I was missing my ex and asked if I could call her she said yes. Then I went into a panick thinking I did the wrong thing. She email me back saying we could meet somewhere. I was even more terrified, and finally emailed her saying I was too emotional, and I am sorry, but I shouldn't be texting or talking to her. she been texting me constantly asking stupid stuff, that you would normally be asking your husband. It makes it hard for me to forget her when she constatntly doing that.

She replied that she is shocked , and she still cares for me and misses me. Then told me she hurt that I don't want to talk to her. Then emailed again saying I guess you don't want to try and get back together again.

This is the girl who left me suddenly without warning. I mean, she gave me an annivesary card (very sweet) signed with Love, and walks out 2 weeks later, acting like she won the lottery. She was so happy to leave. I was cryiing and sending her some many sweet emails and songs, and asking her if we could work this out. She didn't want any part of it. She waned to file for divorce immediatelly but was still nice to me, until I refused her initially settlement demands. It was also, 4 weeks right after my mom died and she found out I had a small inheritance.

Right away she wanted a quick divorce and didn't want me to get a lawyer. She is a para-legal and worked in family law for over 30 years. She knows the ropes. I knew nothing.she knew most of the judges and lawyers etc.

Anyway, Now I am torned. My brother and friends do not trust her. I loved her and miss my life with her. I think she may too. They say this is natural too want to be back with you ex, no matter what she did. She did do many terrible things behind my back and spent a lot of our money over the years. SHe admiiited that in a email as well. She has proven to be a liar, and but she has always been sweet to me as far as face to face. Poker face I guess. She can deceive , and lie, and to my face act like nothing is wrong. I know, I shouldn't trust her, but I am so use to our life, even though their was a lot of deception I never, cheated, lied or decieved her, but I wasn't perfect. I know at times, I hurt her esteem, but always apolozied, and worked on not repeating that. That's my failure. So, I am not sure what to do. I have strong emotions, and attachments to her, and in the morning I miss her, but I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want to hurt anyone, but someone will, and it's usually me, as I would feel guilty either way, since I told my girlfriend that I love her.