Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Saying no to friends

Tesinato
Tesinato
I'm curious if any of you guys have any advice on the subject. My friends are really pushing me hard lately. I've been out a bit more lately, and this cold weather plus my MG is starting to get a bit tougher then it was during the summer. When I didn't feel well during the summer, I would say no, and then they would avoid me like I was diseased and couldn't do anything anymore, until I corrected them about this. A few months later, I was sick a day they wanted to do something, and again, same results. How do I go about telling them I can't do stuff without them treating me like this? It hurts me inside, to think that because I can't do something once, I get taken off the list of people to call when something is happening. I hate self inviting myself to stuff, but find I have to when this happens to be able to hang out again. I find it painful to say the least. Any suggestions would be great.

If this is the wrong forum to post, sorry about that, but I consider relationships not just for lovers, but for family and friends too. Hope that explains it.
Shai
Shai
i wouldn't see an issue if a friend of mine had politely declined an outing. i don't understand why your friends are reacting this way...are they really your FRIENDS? (no offense). i just mean that friends are supposed to be understanding, and what they are being is the exact opposite.

is there anyone in that group of friends that still treats you like a human-being? i would suggest planning something and inviting that person. change it up. be the one to do the planning. if someone can't make it, shrug it off and don't take it personal.

just be the good friend that you are, and maybe...just maybe they'll realize that what they're doing to you is un-friend-like.
buffetcrasher
buffetcrasher
Shai gives some good advice on this issue. If your health doesn't allow for you to participate as often as they ask, try contacting one person to see about going out. I find that the less people I'm around the easier it is to express why health issues may prevent me from being more active, outgoing and willing to be around everyone at once. This way, you won't be as hurt if you know you've reached out to one person and they understand why you may not be able to enjoy all the things they do.

You could also repost this in another group, but I think it's fine here. You'll hopefully get the right feedback and support needed for this concern you have.