Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Hi,
My husband and I have been together for 13 years. Back in July, he just came out and told me he wanted to leave. I was shocked, it came out of nowhere. My first thought was that he was cheating, he told me he wasn't and I truly believed him, I begged him to stay, asked him to go to counselling, he would have none of that. So, I packed my stuff and was out of there in a week. Back in september he contacted me and said he wanted me back. I took him back and it was wonderful for about 4 weeks, we even rented an apartment together. The day I moved in it all changed. I was being mean to him and almost completely ignored him. (I have done this many times in the past) All he was was nice to me. I just couldn't snap out of it. Then all of a sudden he snapped and said we were just roommates and when and if he wants to talk about our relationship he would. I am completely devestated again. I can't eat, cant sleep and now I don't want to be here in the apt with him, I want to give him space but I dont know how long I can go like this. Does anyone know how long they would give someone to come around. I need answers but I can't wait forever cause if he doesnt want me I need to move on with my life without him :(
My husband and I have been together for 13 years. Back in July, he just came out and told me he wanted to leave. I was shocked, it came out of nowhere. My first thought was that he was cheating, he told me he wasn't and I truly believed him, I begged him to stay, asked him to go to counselling, he would have none of that. So, I packed my stuff and was out of there in a week. Back in september he contacted me and said he wanted me back. I took him back and it was wonderful for about 4 weeks, we even rented an apartment together. The day I moved in it all changed. I was being mean to him and almost completely ignored him. (I have done this many times in the past) All he was was nice to me. I just couldn't snap out of it. Then all of a sudden he snapped and said we were just roommates and when and if he wants to talk about our relationship he would. I am completely devestated again. I can't eat, cant sleep and now I don't want to be here in the apt with him, I want to give him space but I dont know how long I can go like this. Does anyone know how long they would give someone to come around. I need answers but I can't wait forever cause if he doesnt want me I need to move on with my life without him :(
How about counseling?
Hate to say this, but man, my ExH used to do this to me. Lilsim, this is sooooo hard to live with. Draining. Emotional. Like walking on eggshells - because if you say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing, you get froze out, and who knows how long? I never knew.
This needs to be addressed. Seriously. Because that is some kind of game or something, that I don't understand. But deep down, you do. You know why you do this. Individual counseling could help you hugely.
Sending support, L~
let them figure it out. you cannot convince someone to love you. you cannot convince someone to stay with you.
perhaps you should think about divorce and start over with someone who wouldn't second guess you.