Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Okay, after some posts I have made and some comments and response I have got. What is the "Rules" for dating in your 40s and beyond??? Aparently I don't know them. I would really like a perspective from Men and Women, because I'm not sure if we see it the same. I really want to know what yall think. Thanks, I need info, because I guess I'm doing it wrong LOL
Also people are much more likely to hook up over social media and over shared activities, rather than being introduced by friends.
It's also much more permissible for women to approach men. I approached my husband in a transatlantic chat room and he was thrilled to get some unsolicited attention. I say, if you see a guy who catches your interest, jump on it. Learn to flirt and use humor to approach guys. Approach a lot of men, not just the ones you are interested in dating. It might feel awkward at first, but after a while it'll be as easy as falling off a log. My hubie is always amazed that I chat up total strangers everywhere we go; sales clerks, people unfortunate enough to be standing in line with me at the post office, the barista making my coffee, and anyone else who seems even half way inclined to talk. Volunteer to wrap gifts at the mall, this year. That's a wonderful way to meet men. Talking is a good way to pass the time. I keep it short and funny.
I've found that most average guys are starved for attention and compliments...real compliments. Men are fantastic creatures and I don't know why women have such a hard time telling them how great they are. It's such a common part of taking to people that I don't even have to think something up. It just pops out of my mouth.
I think younger people are now paying for their own individual meals, instead of the man always paying. I think it's nice to trade it off. The financial burden shouldn't always fall on the guy.
I've found that if the guy isn't a health nut, baking for them seems to be something they appreciate.
If think that the older we get, the easier it is to interact. Older men seem more inclines to be emotionally vulnerable. It's nice not to have to claw through a bunch of macho BS to get to know a guy.
Where are meeting men? Do you ever use dating apps?
Do you mind if I ask why you want to settle down with one man? If I were single I'd honestly enjoy several semi-serious relationships. I would certainly always use protection, but switching it up and seeing different men in a small group would be optimal from my perspective. I wouldn't have to worry about what a guy thought of my ever decision and could do as I pleased. Knowing myself the way I do, I'd probably get attached to one of them though. This is the point were my dream and the reality of my personality diverge.
My sister is in the same boat you are. It's hard to meet people and even more difficult to tell if they'd like a long term partner. What kinds of hobbies do you enjoy? Maybe there is opportunity to meet men who enjoy the same types of things.
Before I was with my man now I wasn't into the hooking up thing either; I just didn't want to have to have every new prospect go with me to PPH before we had sex. Yep I guess I'm an oddball so to speak but there's just waaay too many STD's to play Russian Roulette, even with condoms.
Also it's ok to want a man that's chivalrous! I love doors opened for me, etc. I personally think that's one of the problems with dating these days; It's like you meet say hi my name is _and then it's like let's go to bed. Or go for drinks (minus the food ) and go to bed. IMHO most men probably do think all of us are the same in not wanting the friendship to grow into a relationship. I've learned through my 3 musketeers as I call them (baby daddy, first husband, last husband) that being friends before having sex is the way to go instead of jumping right into the frying pan because I got burnt!
I think you know what type of man you want and you want a LTR with the qualities you want, so there's really no rules set in stone. It's frustrating but I think I told you before don't give up! I'll be cheesy and use a cliche but there really is somebody for everybody!