Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
There are many things we may remember about our pasts-- some good-- some not so good. I did get to thinking about my believing all happens for a reason. Long after my Mom passed away, my Dad turned to alcohol and kid brother to booze, drugs and whatever may get him attention. But things turned around .After another DUI, Dad wound up in counseling which did also lead us kids to family counseling and me to a week of inpatient treatment at Caron Family Program for ACOAs.
There everything did fall into place. They described the dynamics of a dysfunctional family-- was as if my family was the model. Surrounded by others also struggling to understand and work through issues-- we all did come to better understand why others in our families acted the way they did (we all take roles to fill and keep the family functioning and appearing as close to normal as possible) After that I did also have some aftercare and counseling. One thing was to try to spend some time together to try to do something good and create some new happy memories...
AND THIS IS WHERE THE GOOD STUFF BEGINS---
I love to bake and do go to town making Christmas cookies... many different kinds. I mix up several doughs ahead of time and then just keep on baking til I get em all done. I got Dad and my kid brother to agree to help and we did have our first bake off. I mixed chocolate chip, peanut butter, snickerdoodles and everyone's favorite to eat,but the most time consuming to make-- sour cream cut outs. I put them to work-- rolling balls then dipping in cinnamon sugar --- pb-- one making balls the other putting the criss crosses on and getting them in the oven.
For the first time we three did work together , Christmas music playing and actually did have fun. And who would have thought that my 70 yr old dad would find his calling rolling out and carefully doing those blasted cutouts? (Of course I did discover that perfectionism I sometimes get annoyed with in myself did originate with him as it took him 8 yrs to make sure there were no lop sided trees or shoeless santas. haha) Funny thong was-- it did start a tradition that would continue for several more years. And a good one with some happy, silly memories.
Have you a tradition-- new or old that you would like to share?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I'm giving holidays a try for the second time in my 65 year life for the sake of the 3 grandchildren I inherited when my son and his wife were killed in a traffic accident at the end of September. The day after Thanksgiving we went out and bought a tree to kick off the season. Who knows? Could morph into a tradition. Right now the family is still a bit too unstable for certainty.
With such a horrible thing for not only you and your husband to go through as you lost your child and his wife, but for his children to lose their Mom and Dad is so very difficult. Being with their Nanna and Poppop, knowing that they love them and taking that step to bring a bit of that holiday hope and joy back to their lives as you all do decorate a tree. In my eyes I do believe maybe you are bringing that "Therapy Month" into their lives as well... and what better gift for you all. Love and hugs that you all may share that love as some of that joy does come back . The kids will always have memories of their parents-- and now many new ones with you both. God bless.
Your story is so inspiring Veggie... and your cookies sound divine.... I'll put the coffee on
I don't really celebrate much now.... I'll often go through old photos and treasured memories though.... they touch me as well
Winter solstice is a time of much depression, flu, etc. Rosemary is a well respected herb for most of those ailments and I go nuts for it during any cold or flu season. Somewhere along the way, sculpted rosemary became commercially available, especially christmas tree shaped rosemary. They are top grade rosemary that can help freshen the air with its astringent aromas. Burying my nose in them for a few seconds can clear my sinuses better than any pharmacy product I know. Sniff freely. To the best of my knowledge, ya can't OD on rosemary.