Your ex wife may be doing what is called parental alienation and there is a good book and website about this. Get educated so you know what it is and can act accordingly. You have to be wise about this or it may turn into estrangement and resentment on the part of the son.. It may help to look at how your son feels. It would really help to talk to him about how he feels about your new living situation. Being thoughtful and kind and not negating how he feels. To him, it may seem like you have a new wife and new family and he is odd man out. Maybe he doesn't want to sleep over at your house but maybe he'd go to the baseball game with you or out to eat with JUST you or golfing or something you both like. Don't include him in your new family stuff -- make time to spend with him alone. He wants a relationship with you but probably has very conflicted feelings about the new wife and the new kids. He sees them as getting his dad's time and him getting zip, nada, zilch. If the former wife is doing parental alienation, she is reinforcing how bad you are to have remarried and have a new family and now you don't love the old one any longer. Or crap like this. Allow your son to tell you how he feels and be okay with how he feels. Listen and if you need to apologize do it right. He's 16 and this is the confusion of that age. If he wants a game, make it so that you and him (no one else) goes to the game store and then out to eat. Talk to him about his life and his hobbies and how he feels. Think about how he may feel abandoned by you. Even if you never meant it that way. Keep telling him how much you love him. Make time for both your older children so they get to spend time alone with you. Listen to them and ask them questions about their lives.

Sounds good thanks, I will check the book out

I’m a step parent of adult children but when they were teenagers, they really started not wanting to come over on their regular weekends. It was tough on my husband. A lot of it is the age. They want to hang out with their friends and have activities and stuff that take up their time. I mean when you are a teenager you naturally aren’t interested in hanging out with your parents.

I do think the adults in divorce scenarios often underestimate the affect divorce has on kids. Make time for him separate from your wife and step kids. Even just having time during the week to video chat. I don’t know... sometimes it’s not the big stuff but rather leaving the lines of communication open. Parents have to really commit to making an effort. He’s still a kid after all.

My parents divorced and I had a rocky relationship with my dad. It had nothing to do with the divorce but he used to blame our issues on my mom filling my head with ideas. That actually wasn’t the case at all. So whether you ex is doing that or not, I’d really tread lightly with that with your son. His feelings and ideas are his, regardless of the influence.

Good luck. It’s not easy I know.

hugs my friend, they said it all and so well. Give him the space and time he needs. It is hard, I know. One thing never talk bad about his mother. No matter what she says or do. They can see that for themselves.

Give them time to come around hopefully things will change I know its hard, I lost my first wife in 2008 leaving me with 2 special need boys and it was killing me as only very young and at at special school but my boys did come around finally and now call her mum, what I'm trying to say give him time he is at that age to make his own mind up. but don't push him to much.
Good luck and take care of your self's.
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I was also going to suggest have some one on one time with your son(s)....

Everything doesn't need to be with your new family with regards to your sons

If you think that your ex wife is trying to alienate your son(s) I would think about some mediation or therapy to set some boundaries that everyone follows

Big hug.... I hope that things will soon fall into place......xo

I have 21 and 17 year olds. Your son is likely hurting because he sees his mother hurt.
He is avoiding you because he knows he shouldn’t feel upset but he does.
Continue to ask him to do things with your new family, but schedule 1 day a week every week when you spend time with just him. He wants your attention without the wife attached.
I hope things get better! With time he will understand that you need a partner.