Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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reconnecting with an ex???

Lanaleo15
Lanaleo15
My ex put me through hell n back a few years ago. Prior through that bad time he was a great person who I fell in love with. Well we broke up and since its been years. I have forgiven him for it all as time has healed. We got back in touch and have been talking again. When I finally saw him I fell in love all over again and the butterflies were back. He really is trully sorry for all that happened and is really sorry as I am to. Is this a bad idea?
Aronia
Aronia
It all depends on what it is he did..
Lanaleo15
Lanaleo15
He was verbally abusive and cheated. The verbal abuse began we he cheated.
onetoomany
onetoomany
hmmmm.

I do agree that people can changebut I don't know
I would proceed VERY slowly here.
Lanaleo15
Lanaleo15
Some things about him haven't lol but those are not a big deal. I moved on from that other stuff and have actually worked on me, when back then I didn't and went on a downward spiral. So yes, I do question if he will be good when I'm having a rough time.
stillbitterjaded
stillbitterjaded
Tried this recently, thought "wow, it's been so long maybe he's changed".

Nope. Still acts as though he's a 20-something with no responsibilities. Still sweet, still kind to me but just not what I want in life. Nothing positive to add to my life.
HelloMimi
HelloMimi
I think exes are exes for a reason, and IMO is very hard for people to change, specially when they have been abusive and cheating is something I wouldn't be able to just forgive and forget...
lovingmyselfirst
lovingmyselfirst
Once a Cheater always a cheater
I forgave my ex husbands first known infidelity to find out 20 years later he never stopped cheating on me and my world got destroyed
deleted_user
deleted_user
When trust is gone it is very hard to get back, which would be my reason for not going there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What happened with the gym trainer who you thought was hitting on you?
Shine14
Shine14
I think it depends on whether or not hes learned from his mistakes and has grown as an individual.
I dont see anything wrong with giving him a second chance as long as you go into it understanding the risks involved.
That said, make your decisions carefully. Take it slow - give him time to show you whether or not hes the same person. Sort of like getting to know him all over again.